Just A Minute - Time of Influence


by Robert Boucher - Date: 2007-03-14 - Word Count: 806 Share This!

"Diabetes? Who, me? Doctor, you have to be kidding."

I realize I eat a little too much, but I play hockey and soccer and run. I can't have diabetes. In answer to your question, yes, my father, brother and sister have diabetes. Yes, I guess I should not be surprised if I have it too.

The drive back to work was one full of feelings. I became angry. Why me? I am not really overweight. I have tried to keep myself in shape. My anxiety started to grow as I went through all the things that could happen: blindness, heart attack, kidney failure, loss of legs, stroke. What a bright future!

The doctor, anticipating my disorientation and depression, registered me in what I call diabetes school. The hospital staff would educate me on what I had to face. They would explain how I would have to change my lifestyle. My old lifestyle would have to stop, and I would have to start a new one.

With all change, whether at work or in our personal lives, we react and have strong feelings. Change itself is situational and external, even if we have caused it. It is our reaction we have to the change that can affect how we feel. William Bridges, in his book Managing Transitions, makes the point quite strongly that we have to make the most of change. We have to recognize the transition that we are going through. We have to stop one behavior and move onto a new beginning. He refers to this as the "neutral zone." He calls it a neutral zone because we are moving through an area of neither new nor old. But calling it a neutral zone makes it seems that there is nothing happening. I prefer to call it "the Influential Stage."

This is because there are two forces acting on us: the change that is influencing how we perform, a change of behavior, and how we react to the change and influence our reactions. What we have then is ENDING -->INFLUENCE STAGE-->NEW BEGINNING. This means we will have to change old rituals and start new ones. Every summer I used to go at least once a week to the Dairy Queen. Now I go on the change of season, four times a year. I test my blood to ensure I am not over a reasonable limit.

When you are in the Influential Stage, you need to ask yourself the following questions:

What am I losing and has this been explained to me?
Will I overreact?
Can I acknowledge my losses openly?
Can I grieve?

William Bridges stresses the ability to grieve over the Ending. Ending makes people have feelings of anger, sadness, fear, depression and confusion. This is part of grieving; it is normal. You should recognize that. Remember that it is acceptable to have these feelings, but be careful to avoid unacceptable behaviors such as rage, making mistakes or even sabotage. Other behaviors to be aware of are anxiety, depression, disorientation and confusion. You may have losses that you cannot compensate for alone. You may have to seek assistance. To quote Beryl Allport, life coach, "You need a support system of friends, peers, family or a professional."

If the change is losing your job, someone close dying, divorce, or a new office, the support may be the most important thing you have to cope with the change.

No matter what the change is or where it originates from, you need as much information as you can get. If it is a work change, demand to know everything that is going on. Communication is extremely important. Make sure you know what is over and what is changing. Lack of information increases anxiety, causing a lack of motivation, absenteeism, making mistakes and feeling overloaded with work - overloaded because you don't know what to keep from the past and what to adopt for the future, causing more work.

Change will cause you to look at the purpose you have developed for the work you do, the way you live your life and how you build your vision of the future. Realize that change is a constant. You need to understand that it will affect your purpose. If you have not developed a purpose for your work, your life, sit down and do one for work and one for your personal life. It will help you understand what the change is influencing and how you will react and adapt to the change.

I am healthier than I have ever been. I ride a bike 25 kilometres every chance I get. I swim 2.5 kilometres almost every day. My weight is in the zone. I know what can happen and why, because I know how diabetes has changed my life. I am comfortable with my life but I know things could change again. Now I know how to approach the Influence Stage.


Related Tags: diabetes, life changes, changes, robert boucher, business changes, personal changes

Robert Boucher- President of Cirrus Management Training & Sailing 1286 Rockwood Dr. Kingston, Ont. K7P 2M7 1 613 634-0696 robert@cirrusleadership.com - http://www.cirrusleadership.com

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