The numbers are astonishing. reports vary from 1 in 3 to 1 in 4 girls being sexually abused before they are 18 and 1 in 6 to 1 in 8 boys. Which means that we all know a lot of children, adults who have been sexually abused.

This abuse can vary from one-time inappropriate touching to rape and/or long term sexual abuse or incest. Most often the abuse happens by someone the child knows. Victims regularly deal with the impact for decades, many times for life. That is not just a statement, people really deal with it all those years, it impacts their relationships, their self confidence, their ability to make contact with people.

Who are the people who do this?
It can vary from a family member to a first date, and from a teacher or a priest to the friendly neighbor. It can be an ignorant teen or a smooth adult who knows exactly what he or she is doing. Sexual abuse is often multi-generational, with victims who become abusers, not knowing ways to break the cycle.

What are signs to notice whether this may be going on for your child?
www.stopitnow.org and www.protectkids.com give quite clear information you can access readily. Knowing your child and their normal behavior and seeing changes in that is one clear key in all of it. I recommend having a look at these sites, so you are better prepared to see more clearly.

Can we prevent it?
Education and a solid open relationship with your child are two building blocks you can easily apply in your own life. By speaking about sexuality, in age appropriate ways, you will create awareness for your child. You can help them by teaching what is ok and what not. What to do when someone is trying to get them to do something that she or he knows now isn't "right".

It also means teaching, talking about sexuality with your older kids as they start dating. They need to know what is ok and not. How to respect boundaries and that "no" is indeed "no", whatever the no is about. Boys and girls need to learn about the boundaries and yes, about the often life long effects if your cross them unwanted.

Whether we like it or not, advocate abstinence or not, kids do have sexual contacts. And they need to be prepared to deal with the tension, the expectations and all the stories others tell. And feel that it is ok to say "no" when they want to, feel or think confused, doubt whether this is ok. And it is not just about intercourse. The boundary is where they are at. Touching can be unwanted just as much and the effects just as long term.

Key is that you talk about it early and regularly. I.E. If you talked about it when they were four or seven, they will need to hear it again and differently later. By talking about it earlier, you create a basis of trust and openness, so they can come back to you later.

Teach them about signs in adults who may be potentially inappropriate, too, as you can find on the previously mentioned sites. As to teaching your children about sexuality, there are many different ideas about that. Your own community, fitting with your values and views likely has information, too. This information can vary from liberal sources to websites from churches and other religious communities.

For me the most important part is that you face it and talk about it. Prepare your child, so they can prevent it, as much as they can. Because if they don't know what is ok or not, they won't know whether they dealing with abuse. And if it happens, believe them, support them and love them as much as you can. They will need you to, to overcome the pain, the unjust thought that they are to blame. And to work through it in a way that it can be a horrible event, not a life time burden.

You can do your part.
Please do.
So they don't have to deal with it later.