Still Think You're Dating a Lying Liar? Here are 5 More Terrific Tips to Help You Discover the Truth


by Conner O'Seanery - Date: 2007-01-24 - Word Count: 646 Share This!

So, you're still dating the guy with the angel eyes, the 1,000-watt smile, the silver tongue and the Gouda-grating abs. And you're still not convinced he's being straight up with you, even after using the five tips for spotting the verbal slips of a liar highlighted in "Think You're Dating a Lying Liar? Here are 5 Terrific Tips to Help You Discover the Truth."

Here's a recap for those who might have missed the article or forgot to write down the five tips:

A liar tends to expand contractions (i.e. "I didn't lie" becomes "I did not lie.") A liar might pause and insert odd, non-word sounds into his speech, like ah, er, um, oh, and sometimes duh. A liar may make mistakes in grammar, verb tenses and experience other train-of-thought derailments. A liar tends to use fewer first-person words such as "I" or "my," fewer emotional words like "hurt" or "angry," and fewer cognitive words like "understand" or "realize." A liar might use pronouns instead of actual names in order to add emotional distance to the lie.

Truth is, some liars are so good at lying they can suppress these verbal slips. It's much harder, however, to suppress the tell-tale body language that belies deception.

For the vast majority of the population, lying doesn't come easily. Fear or nervousness over getting caught -- or even breathless excitement over pulling off an audacious snow job -- increases the psychological pressure we experience, and this pressure produces physical changes inside our bodies. These physical changes ripple outward and crest on our skin, causing a multitude of unique "tells," "leaks" or signs that can be recognized by the naked eye ... if you know what to look for!

5 Tips for Spotting the Non-Verbal Tics of a Liar

1. Not-So-Lazy Eyes: In a worldwide study, scientists polled thousands of people from nearly 60 countries, asking "How can you tell when people are lying?" The number one response from America to Zimbabwe? Liars avert their gaze.

But be careful! How your man averts his gaze is crucial to understanding his underlying thought process:

Does he look up and to the left (from your vantage point)? He's probably constructing an image or a situation. Hmmm, could be a lie in the making!

Does he look left, but with his eyes on the same level? He might be imagining a conversation he never had!

To make this all the more complicated, looking right (again, from your vantage point) tends to indicate genuine recall of images/situations (if the gaze is upward) or sounds (with a level gaze).

And what if he glances down, you ask? Um, he's probably just checking his fly.

2. A Cross to Bear False Witness: A liar may cross his arms, barrier-like, to fend off your inquisition. If your guy's a nancy-boy with arms like al dente spaghettini, he may need reinforcements and unconsciously place objects (like books, coffee cups, retaining walls, etc.) between him and you.

3. Timing's Off: The timing between a liar's gestures and words may appear off. When he's hiding the truth, displays of emotion can be delayed and remain longer than they would naturally. If your guy is acting like an extra in a poorly dubbed Jackie Chan chop-socky flick, then odds are something other than the truth is his motivation.

4. Lip-Licking Liars: A liar may lick his lips more often. Eeeww! The only people permitted to lick their lips more often are pouty supermodels and NBA MVPs whose names rhyme with Steve Nash. No exceptions!

5. Nasal Appraisal: A liar might touch his nose frequently while he's talking to you. Many psychologists and mendacity experts commented on former president Bill Clinton's nasal manipulation during testimony on his relationship with Monica Lewinsky. In fact, this habit has been reported in many cultures. That's because the nose contains erectile tissues that engorge when a person is under stress or nervous. Seriously. Suddenly, Pinocchio never seemed so wrong!


Related Tags: dating tips, tips, dating, lie, deception, lying, lying how to

Conner O'Seanery is a self-admitted serial liar and an expert on detecting deception in any situation. Author of You Won't Get Fooled Again: More Than 101 Brilliant Ways to Bust Any Bald-Faced Liar (Even If the Liar is Lying Beside You!) and You Won't Get Fooled at Work Again: 40 Timely Tips for Recognizing Deception in the Workplace, O'Seanery is a popular media guest whose insights have been featured on City TV's Breakfast Television, Global Television's NewsHour, CBC Radio, Westwood One Radio Network, USA Radio Network and hundreds of radio stations. His books have been featured in the New York Post, National Post, Seattle Times, Toronto Star, Ottawa Citizen and other newspapers. Conner is also a respected speaker who uses a blend of quick wit and well-earned wisdom to entertain as much as inform audiences. To download free excerpts from You Won't Get Fooled Again and You Won't Get Fooled at Work Again visit Conner's website at http://TheSerialLiar.com/

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