The following article is one of a series of articles which focus on building or regaining Self Esteem, motivating and empowering men to deal with the very sensitive subject of their Sexual Health. This empowering article on men's sexual health was written in response to questions which have been asked on topics related to Men's Issues as well as address common challenges that people have with this subject. I sincerely hope that you find the following information of value.

The Stress Of Being Terrible In Bed

I know the feeling. This is a thought that can cross our minds whether as a teenager or someone in later life. Frankly, if that's all it does then there may not be a problem. However, if it grows and self doubt sets in, then we are facing something which could be a lot more serious.

I would hate the proverbial vicious circle to begin - we are beginning to doubt our sexual ability in bed, so when we next get the opportunity, we don't perform as well as we could, so the doubt grows a bit deeper, then you know what happens at the next opportunity and so it goes.

Whether you're actually that bad in bed or your confidence is a bit on the low side, I am obviously not in a position to tell. However, I am hoping that this article will help you to find that out for yourself.

We have all been there at one time or another - too tired, too stressed out with work or money worries, too drunk - and we all know the outcome. Unfortunately these events can eat away at our confidence and self esteem if we allow them to. Sadly oftentimes they may also start the unfounded and painful suspicion of our partner's behavior.

Some times are absolutely fantastic, some times are good and some times are bad and there's little any of us can do about it. Losing confidence in yourself and throwing good self-esteem out with the bath water just because of a slip up is not the way to deal with this very important challenge.

To try and get a handle on this, let's look at root causes instead of reacting to the symptoms.

The root of the problem lies in the simple truth that it takes a lot of experience (and practice) to know if our partner is being satisfied or if they are perhaps 'faking it'. Even experienced men can't always tell if their partner is faking it or not.

Truth of the Matter: you can never be that sure if your performance is 'up there with the best'. There are a number of things that could go wrong, some of which we have no control over.

Stress is one of the great "sex killers"

Oh sure, technology is wonderful, our working life and personal life have never been lived as fast as they are today. However, how can we truly enjoy ourselves if we keep thinking about deadlines, disgruntled employees, pushy bosses, nasty co-workers or credit card debt. No wonder people are stressed.

Apart from its direct impact on our sexual performance, stress can have serious knock-on effects that just compound the problem and the vicious circle starts all over again. Whether it's because of a worry over our sexual performance or not, we need to learn to relax more, recognize the early indicators of stress in our lives and be in control rather than have circumstances take control of us.

A common example of this downward spiral scenario is…

Some men take a drink or two to 'relax' or because of the stress they are under at the time. Sadly, I know, I've been there. It always starts small since going out with the guys is fun and listen, it's only a couple of beers anyway. Before you know it the number of beers grows and the couple of hours with the mates end up being a whole night on. Sometimes it could end up being worse than that. Am I hitting a raw nerve?

Is it really surprising that following this pattern our performance is less than satisfactory?

Remember to keep things in perspective. The reason you were terrible in bed may simply have been down to being stressed over something or just too tired at the time.

Once you allow self doubt to creep in and to grow, once you continue to question your sexual performance on a regular basis, you run the high risk of damaging your self esteem - yes back to the vicious circle again.

Be more positive, be more creative and, above all communicate with your partner.

Learn some new positions, surprise each other. If your intimate time together seems like it's routine (which can also be a cause), break it up a bit, enjoy and always remember that every problem has a solution.

If you are keen to get sex right every time, if you are keen to bring new excitement and rekindle the fun instead of fuelling the fire of doubt, then let us help you now.

Through our excellent resources containing the very best in video, written and interactive sexual advice, such as our 10 Point Sex Plan, we have already ensured that bedroom blunders are a thing of the past for a number of very grateful men and their partners.