Relationships Casualty of War
What causes it I don't know...the distance...the lack of physically being together, or the fact that all you see or hear is words...no emotion..so everything is left up to personal interpretation. There's no doubt that the soldiers serving in this ghastly war have it worse...they hear all the cheating stories...they hear all the problems other people have and I'm sure they can't help, but keep those things in mind. The mind it can be evil...it can make you think things you normally wouldn't...doubt things you were so certain about before...be unwilling to forgive or keep trying.
For those left home, they may not be in a war zone, but they fight their own battles at home. They try to hold it down and keep putting one foot forward. They deal with the children, work hard, and try to maintain some sense of normalcy, but the fact is that when you're loved one is gone...normalcy doesn't exist. You live for the phone calls...you're life starts to become about waiting for that AIM to pop up. You try your hardest to take care of them even though they're miles away. Waiting...waiting patiently for them to come home.
I don't know I guess relationships get strained, because at some point people stop thinking about how this war is taking it's toll on the other and focus only on their side. Relationships are taken for granted....things are said that aren't meant...arguing, becomes almost common. For what? There was such a strong love and bond and it gets picked at from every angle and love is being lost...a casualty of war.
Love...real love...that aching, longing love...it's so rare...priceless. To lose that kind of love is almost a death in itself. Especially when things were so great before and now all you have is pieces. It's the hardest most heart-wrenching thing to experience...I know.
People tell you to hold onto hope and to just try to be normal...that evil word again! But that is easier said than done. Your life changes when someone goes to war...it's no longer about the partying or the clubs...at least not for me. For me...it was about the shopping trips to pick things out to send a care package...standing in line at the post office to mail off a precious piece of home. It revolved around the computer....talking for hours. It became about making a wonderful home for him to come home to. In a way all of those things made him feel closer. That has been my normal. So now what?
I walk around with a constant ache in my heart...trying to force a smile when inside I just want to die. Just moving through the motions...just trying to make it through the day. A casualty of war!
Related Tags: relationships, love, deployment
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