Relationships, Head Start
There's actually not a lot of difference between men's and women's sexual attitudes, but the signals of a woman's arousal are less obvious than a man's. For example, vaginal wetness is far more subtle than a man getting hard. It's worth remembering that non-verbal means make up 80 percent of our sexual communication, so a wiggle of the hips can say a lot more than 'I like it when you do it this way'.
It is men who are still expected to initiate things. Start slowly. Express things via body language to start with, and let that evolve into saying what you want and need. If you can be that intimate with someone there is absolutely no reason why you can't talk about it. But make sure you start with more gentle propositions. Don't wade in straight-away with anything too niche.
You should also learn how to say no when you mean it. If you really don't want to do something, or if you really don't feel like having sex then you have to be able to say so and it not sound like a put-down. Explain why you don't want to. Don't just reject the idea outright because that encourages silence in the future. Carrots are always better than sticks.
For more articles on sexual health subscribe to Sandra Prior's online newsletter at http://intercell.shacknet.nu.
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