Step-family Preparation: What is it, Anyway? (Part 7)


by Alyssa Johnson - Date: 2006-12-09 - Word Count: 312 Share This!

You've made it to the final pathway in this journey of step-family preparation. This topic focuses on recognizing the differences between step and nuclear families. They are completely different types of families. Just because you've been in a family before does NOT mean that you have a clue about how step-families function.

Here's a perfect example. What is the first word you think of when I say "mother"? If you're like most people, happy memories of times with your mother or special things she did for you came to mind. If so, you probably were thinking of words similar to "kind, loving, gentle, and fun". Now what comes to mind when I say "step-mother"? For many of you, the first word you thought of was probably "wicked" or something along those lines. Well, you've got Cinderella to thank for that one.

It doesn't matter how kind, loving, gentle or fun a step-parent is, they do not have the same bond with the children as a biological parent does. For many people, they can intellectually grasp this, but actually experiencing it frequently causes rejection and anger. Remember in part 5 when I said how important it is for you to get your sense of worth from your faith relationship instead of the people around you? Here's a perfect example why. Does this mean that step-parents and step-kids never have a close relationship? Absolutely not! It's just that the bond is different, and unfortunately society still seems to see it as "less than". That doesn't mean it is though.

This is just one example of the differences between these two types of families. There are numerous others. Ignorance of these differences causes couples to have unrealistic expectations of what their family life will be like. When reality hits, many couples and families become disillusioned and consider leaving the discomfort as quickly as possible through yet another divorce.


Related Tags: divorce, step-family, remarriage, step-parent, step-mother

Visit http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com for more information on how to prepare as a couple and a family for remarriage. Subscribe today to the Remarriage Success Tips E-Zine at http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com/e-zine.htm for more helpful articles to guide you on your step-family preparation journey. Alyssa Johnson, MSW, LCSW is the founder and CEO of Remarriage Success. She may be reached through her website at http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com

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