Useful Methods To Maintain Healthy Dating Relationships


by Ian Jefferson - Date: 2007-03-27 - Word Count: 830 Share This!

Dating can be an enriching and fun experience - with the right person. Dating can help you grow personally and expose you to different people and different ideas. However, there are toxic people out there and they can draw you into a dating disaster if you are not careful.

It is important to know what red flags you should look for so that you can make educated, balanced decisions regarding the people with whom you interact. It isn't so difficult to have a healthy dating relationship as long as you know when to stick around - and when to bail.

There are probably hundreds of "red flags" that tell you to get the heck out of Dodge, but these are some standard cues that you could be headed for a dating disaster.

1. Your date interrupts you or talks too much.
Well, you know just about everything about YOUR DATE, but you can't get a word in edgewise. When you do start to talk, you are interrupted so that your date can tell you more about themselves. Does this person want to know anything about YOU? If the answer is "No", then move on.

2. Your date won't make eye contact.
Your date looks at everything around them - except you. They can't or won't make eye contact. They are likely hiding something, or they aren't telling you the truth. If your date is evasive with his or her eyes, they will likely be evasive with their honesty.

3. Your date gets way too serious way too early.
Your date is in love - with you - and this is your first date. Scary. If they get very serious very early, talking about an exclusive relationship or, Heaven forbid, marriage, you should watch out. You could be headed for a clingy, needy control freak. It's easy to get swept up and flattered, but be careful and keep your head about you. Don't get caught up in the romance, it very likely is not real.

4. Your date has bad manners.
If your date has poor manners such as interrupting people while talking, walking ahead of you, eats non finger food with their hands or talks down to you then they may not be good dating material. It won't get better if you embark on a relationship, it will only get worse.

5. Your date is not dressed appropriately for the date.
You have a lovely evening planned. You and your date will enjoy dinner at a fine restaurant, then an evening at the symphony. But your date shows up in a t-shirt and jeans, hardly fine dining and symphony material. A healthy dating relationship means, at the very least, having the decency and respect to you to be neat and clean.

6. Your date is rude or condescending to service staff.
Your date seems so nice - until the waitress comes to take your order. Then your "nice" date turns into a snotty, arrogant pig, talking down to the waitress, snapping at the bus boy. This is a huge red flag. If your date is rude or condescending to service staff that is an indication that they are arrogant and look down on others. Do you really want to be with someone who thinks that they are better than everyone else?

7. Your date gets sexual way too early.
If your date is trying to stick their tongue down your throat within minutes of meeting you or tells you in explicit detail what they would like to do with you, it may be time to back away, especially if this is all on the first (or even second) date. If you spend your entire evening fending off groping and suggestive comments from your date, you need to drop them. This person is interested in only one thing and it isn't you, it is your body.

8. Your date is very negative.
Your date spends the evening making broad generalizations about the nature of people, women, men or anything. Life is horrible for them, everyone is against them and the future is bleak. This person will be a real downer for you and eventually they will drag you down into their doldrums with them. After all, misery loves company.

9. Your date is paranoid.
Your date reveals to you that they know the government reads everyone's email and listens to every phone call. Big Brother is watching and the major corporations are manipulating the consumers with mind control. This person has a conspiracy theory for just about everything. Ditch this person or you will always be looking over your shoulder.

10. Your date complains or obsesses over past relationships.
Watch the person who can not let go of the past or who focuses on bad relationship stories. This person has an axe to grind and likely has problems with the opposite sex and guess what, YOU are next on their list. Don't fall into the trap of being the one to show this person that there are quality people out there. Let that be someone else's job while you focus on a healthy dating relationship elsewhere.


Related Tags: dating, dating relationship, healthy dating

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