A Beginner's Guide to Online Dating...Becoming A Member and Making a Move


by Christoph Hickory - Date: 2007-08-14 - Word Count: 1212 Share This!

This is the third and final part on the guide to online dating. In the first part, we talked about searching for the right online dating sites, setting up a simple profile to "test" the site for people in your area, and why it is important to take note of the site's different features. The second part focused on how to create an effective profile and the importance of uploading good photos. Once you have done this, then the time had come to make a decision. Is there enough potential there for you join the site as a full member?

You should now be all set up with an effective profile and great photo, and you happen to find a couple of singles that you are interested in. What should you do next? Here's a quick note to keep in mind. Some sites will allow you to make minimal contact with another person without becoming a full member. This usually comes in the form of a "wink", "flirt", or "kiss", but nothing can be personalized. You may think for a split second that this is a cheaper way to deal with the online dating scene. Let me tell you from experience that this doesn't work. You need to remember that you are probably not the only one "winking" at this person. In fact, there are probably some cases where a person may get 50-100 "winks" a day, and they end up ignoring these altogether. A personalized, well thought out e-mail or instant message is the only way to go if you really want to get their attention. And this can be done only after you become a full member.

So with that said it is time to invest in your future. Most sites give you different membership options. You can usually choose from a 1 month, 3 month, 6 month or even a 1 year membership. Remember that you will always save more money if you commit to a longer membership. But the 1 month membership is still available for the skeptics out there. Just remember, that your chances of finding your "soul mate" on this one particular online dating site within a 1 month period are slim to none. That is also a reason why some folks who are serious about the online dating scene will become members on more than one dating site. This will help increase their chances of finding that someone special. If you are serious about finding someone special, I would recommend this practice as well as getting a longer membership (at least 3 months). It will always be cheaper than having to renew your membership every month.

Now that you are a full paying member you should have access to all that site has to offer. So now it's time to make your move. Here's something that I almost forgot, the online dating scene is different from your local bar or nightclub. It is completely acceptable for the woman to make the first move, in fact many online dating sites encourage it. So ladies, don't think that you have to sit around waiting for someone to notice you. It's OK to be a little aggressive and most guys find that to be attractive.

So you have found someone that you are interested in, and want to make contact. There is one thing that you need to take into consideration before putting too much effort into it. It may be smart to look at one of the key stats on all online dating sites. When was the last time they logged in? If the site says they have logged within the last 24 hours, last 3 days, or even the last week, then there is a pretty good chance that they are still active. But if it says that they have not logged in within the last 2 weeks, last month, or worst of all, last 3 months, then chances are they have either found someone who they have committed to or they have lost interest in the website (probably isn't producing quality results). Either way your efforts to contact them may be in vane. This does not mean that you can't try, just do not be surprised if you do not get a response.

Your first contact is most effective in a well thought out e-mail. This is gives you the chance to make a good first impression and there is less pressure than trying to do the same over an instant message. The key here is not to be too forward. Please do not start out with a "We have to hook up" or a "When do you want to meet", if you get a response to this consider yourself lucky, but most likely you will be ignored. It's better to start off by introducing yourself, explaining just a "little" about yourself, and why you felt compelled to write to them. It's always good to mention something about their photo or profile, because it shows that you are genuinely interested in them and not just sending out random e-mails. Which reminds me, remember to personalize each and every one of you e-mails, because there is always a slight chance that the people you are interested know each other. And nothing will get you busted quicker than when those people find out that you sent them the exact same e-mail.

Now that you have made the first move there is nothing to do now but wait. If they are active on the site, they could get a notification of your e-mail almost immediately. Don't get nervous if you don't get a response right away. You have to give them some time to read your e-mail and take a good look at your profile. And if they respond positively to you, then that's great. The rest of the conversations should just work themselves out naturally to the point where you both may be comfortable enough to exchange phone numbers, and eventually make a decision to take the relationship forward. But there will be instances when the person you e-mailed it not interested. You could find out one of two ways, they could be polite and write to you to say "I am sorry, but I am not interested right now", or they could go the other route and completely ignore your message. Either way do not get discouraged, it happens to everyone sometimes. The important thing is that you do not keep sending them unsolicited messages, because that quickly turns into harassment, which could get you banned from the site. Remember there are millions of people who use online dating sites, and thousands of new members join everyday, so there will always be somebody out there for you.

I hope that everyone has enjoyed this small guide on the online dating world. And if you are still having some problems in finding the right online dating site for you, do not forget about the Reviews of the Best Online Dating Sites for some excellent reviews and backgrounds for the most popular sites. If you put into practice everything that we have gone over in this guide, I have a feeling that you will have a lot of fun in the online dating world. Good luck to everyone and remember to be safe!!!

Related Tags: online dating, dating, online dating guide, online dating sites, online dating reviews

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