Crying Is A Sign Of Weakness

by Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD - Date: 2007-05-23 - Word Count: 526 Share This!

Myth: Crying is a Sign of Weakness. A client recently came to me as a referral by her ear, nose and throat specialist-ENT. She had constant nasal drip and a cough, which did not have any physical basis. After many treatments and much frustration on both their parts, she came to me.

Her history revealed that she had never cried more than a few tears at age twenty-one when her husband was killed in Viet Nam. Two years ago when the post-nasal drip became unbearable her younger sister died with cancer. Another instance she did not allow herself to cry.

She would not let herself cry, because she did not want to be weak or be taken advantage of if she showed any weakness. Mother of a one-year-old she believed she could not allow herself to be vulnerable. She needed to be strong. Not allowing herself to cry was her way of proving she was strong and could handle what life handed her. When her sister died she was in shock for two years-she could not believe that her younger sister would die. Her sister was positive that she would beat the big "c" and when she did not this woman again would not allow herself to mourn her loss. She thought if she cried she would not be as 'strong' as her sister had been facing cancer.

Fact: Crying is generally a sign that one is experiencing something overwhelmingly emotional. It may be enormous joy, sorrow, fear, hopelessness, despair, grief, love, or even confusion. While we are in a moment of extreme emotionality, it is true that we may not necessarily be up to our fullest strength, whatever that means. For example, while crying, one could probably not figure out math problems very well or lift weights or plan a weekly menu or negotiate the sale of a car or home. Crying tends to put anyone in a temporary state of reduced capacity.

The metaphysical cause of post-nasal drip is inner crying and feeling like a victim.

However, when one experiences emotions so overwhelming that tears are formed, it takes an incredibly strong person to stay in the moment, to let the feelings wash over them, embrace them, and perhaps, take them over for a moment. It is an incredibly strong person who can endure emotional pain, let the tears flow, and wait for the emotion to pass. Therefore, I argue that only the truly strong allow themselves to cry.

Those who are weaker, those who cannot tolerate deep emotions, use things to cope with emotions, blunt emotions, stuff emotions, or hide emotions. They numb out with drugs or alcohol, they avoid their painful relationships with workaholism, or they simply deny the feelings so forcefully that they move the feelings out of their consciousness. Some people believe that to avoid or escape your feelings is the easier thing to do.

The people who cry are the ones, who are truly brave enough to live their lives, as life's journey is presented. To be able to cry is proof that you are tough enough to handle pain. So, go ahead and cry when it is time to process the sadness-you are strong enough!

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Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life." Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening.

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