Found In Translation
Who knew that to a toddler, "Use your fork, please." means "Dip a green bean in your milk and stuff it up your nose"? This changes everything!
I'll be a much better mom knowing that "It's time to put your tea set away." means "Hurl yourself against the glass-front fireplace. Twice."
"I have to let go of your hand to unlock the car, so I need you to stand right here while I do that. DO NOT MOVE." means "Run, Child! Run like the wind!"
"Where's your bib?" means "Would you be so kind as to rummage through the kitchen drawers until you find a rusty antique pickle fork, and then comb your eyebrows with it?"
"Yucky! Don't put that in your mouth." means "Cram it into mine while I'm talking." (variation - "Honey, don't rip pages out of your book." means "Rip pages out of mine instead.")
"This part of mass is called the Homily." means "Mama has a scrambled egg in her pocket. Don't be fooled by her whispered denials. Just keep shouting "egg now!" until she gives it to you."
Now I'm ready to face the day. (Wait! I'd better look that up. Yep, here it is: "Call Mama to your crib, wrap your little arms tightly around her neck, and vomit."
Related Tags: child, training, family, communication, parent, toddler, mother, writer, mom, freelance, mass, crib
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer/Sales Trainer
Sally Bacchetta is an award-winning sales trainer and freelance writer. She has published articles on a variety of topics, including parenting, RFID technology, selling skills and motivation.
You can contact her at info@sallybacchetta.com and read her parenting blog and other articles on her website.
Your Article Search Directory : Find in ArticlesRecent articles in this category:
- Top Riding Toys For 201
Children love the excitement and adventure that can be found by cruising on their own ride on toy. W - Picking the Best Size Bike For Your Child
Bicycling can be a great way for your child to get a little extra exercise. Learning to ride a bike - How to Help Your Kids Through Difficult Events
Even as a child or adolescent we may face challenging times when things seem to be crashing down aro - How to Make Your Home Safe For a Young Child
New parents often spend weeks preparing their home for the arrival of their new baby. While there is - 4 Things to Know Before You Buy a Diaper Bag
Some things to keep in mind before you purchase the diaper bag are the following: material, the cost - Exciting Food Suggestions For Kids
Making kids eat healthy food is a big task every mother goes through. With kids pre-occupied with pl - Add Modern Touches to Your Toddler's Room With Modern Toddler Bedding
Decorating a child's room presents parents with several different challenges simultaneously: Choosin - When Should You Be Concerned About Your Baby's Health?
Your baby's health is one of the most important and delicate things that you have to keep abreast of - Having a Happy and Healthy Baby With the Benefits of Baby Massage
Mothers have known for centuries the benefits of baby massage, the world over. In many Asian countri - Diaper Bags And Their Uses
Parents usually need to take diaper bags along with them if they out on a trip. Especially, if the b
Most viewed articles in this category:
- The Perfect Parent...Who Are We Kidding?
I get the feeling that there are a lot of moms and dads out there that feel they're not measuring up - Partial Breastfeeding - Should I Even Bother?
For some women, feeding a baby with breastmilk alone is not possible. The reasons for this vary. For - Skateboarding In The Eighties To The Present
Skateboarding traces its roots to the seventies but it really reached the peak of its popularity in - How Breastfeeding Benefits A Daddy
You know that breastfeeding is best for mother and child, but what's in it for Dad? Isn't he going t - Child-Appropriate Costumes: Violence, Sexuality, And Insensitivity
So your daughter wants to be Wonder Woman for Hallowe'en, or your son wants to be Batman. They're bo - The Evolution Of Vitamin B5 For Acne
I came across the benefits of Vitamin B5 6 years ago whilst searching for an acne treatment that act - Depression And Teens - Six Signs That Your Child May Be Suffering From Depression
Most people are now aware of the seriousness of depression. This has become much more common and mor - Parenting Teenager - Take Time For Your Teen!
BookWire's "Year in Reviews Magazine," December 2006 issue, lists a review of my book "Help Me With - Why It's Important To Follow A Healthy Diet When Pregnant
Pregnancy is one of the most physically enduring times in our lives, and it is more important than e - Sleep Separation And Your Child
It seems harmless enough, lying down with your child while he goes to sleep, but it could be that sl
