Expectations the Culprit; Acceptance the Key
- Date: 2007-12-10 - Word Count: 547
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See if you can relate to these examples of expectations. Mary was sad that she did not get the job she wanted. She thought that was the perfect and possibly only job for her. Sally felt frustrated because she did not win the art contest. The loss shook her self-confidence in her abilities.
Phil was angry because he was turned down for a raise. He did not feel appreciated or valued. Jerry was upset when he heard his wife, Cindy, tell him that she wanted to go back to work. He was very concerned about the welfare of the children.
Jim and Sally were depressed when a perspective buyer did not call back. They were afraid that the house would not sell.
I imagine that you have also experienced the human emotion of disappointment based on expectations. I certainly have. However, I have also learned how to shift from the negative feeling to a positive one.
To begin with, it is helpful to understand the cause of the negative feeling when something happens or does not happen in your life. When we have an expectation, we are likely to feel bad when what we wanted fails to occur. We can choose to stay with that negative feeling and even get angry, hurt, scared, or upset. Personally, that does not feel good, and I imagine those reactions are not fun for you either.
So what can you do? Let go of the expectation which is actually saying something should or should not happen, or I, or some one else is not okay. Notice how in each of the above examples, the peoples' expectations were not fulfilled and they felt fearful; they immediately attached a negative thought to their expectation.
To shift to the positive, acceptance is the key. For example, Mary can choose to accept not getting the job and think that her perfect job is coming to her. Sally can accept that she did not win the contest and she is still gifted. She does not need the contest to affirm her abilities.
Phil did not receive a raise at the time he asked for it. If he accepts that he is still valued and appreciated, he will feel better. Then he can choose to imagine himself receiving a raise without even asking. The power of our words, thoughts, and images is huge.
Jerry was reliving his childhood experience of his mother not being there for him when he was growing up. The truth is that his wife can work and arrange for someone to be there for the children.
Jim and Sally went into fear about their home. They felt better when they accepted that person was not the right buyer. The couple was able to let go of their doubts, and had faith that the perfect buyer would come at the perfect time. Three months later that is exactly what happened. In fact, the financial agreement was much better for them.
As you can see, expectations that are not met can cause numerous fear-based emotions; including anger, sadness, disappointment, and upset. However, when you can accept what does or does not happen, you can then stay positive and continue to focus on what you want. The magnetic positive thoughts can attract to you what you desire. Expectations are the culprit and acceptance is the key.
Phil was angry because he was turned down for a raise. He did not feel appreciated or valued. Jerry was upset when he heard his wife, Cindy, tell him that she wanted to go back to work. He was very concerned about the welfare of the children.
Jim and Sally were depressed when a perspective buyer did not call back. They were afraid that the house would not sell.
I imagine that you have also experienced the human emotion of disappointment based on expectations. I certainly have. However, I have also learned how to shift from the negative feeling to a positive one.
To begin with, it is helpful to understand the cause of the negative feeling when something happens or does not happen in your life. When we have an expectation, we are likely to feel bad when what we wanted fails to occur. We can choose to stay with that negative feeling and even get angry, hurt, scared, or upset. Personally, that does not feel good, and I imagine those reactions are not fun for you either.
So what can you do? Let go of the expectation which is actually saying something should or should not happen, or I, or some one else is not okay. Notice how in each of the above examples, the peoples' expectations were not fulfilled and they felt fearful; they immediately attached a negative thought to their expectation.
To shift to the positive, acceptance is the key. For example, Mary can choose to accept not getting the job and think that her perfect job is coming to her. Sally can accept that she did not win the contest and she is still gifted. She does not need the contest to affirm her abilities.
Phil did not receive a raise at the time he asked for it. If he accepts that he is still valued and appreciated, he will feel better. Then he can choose to imagine himself receiving a raise without even asking. The power of our words, thoughts, and images is huge.
Jerry was reliving his childhood experience of his mother not being there for him when he was growing up. The truth is that his wife can work and arrange for someone to be there for the children.
Jim and Sally went into fear about their home. They felt better when they accepted that person was not the right buyer. The couple was able to let go of their doubts, and had faith that the perfect buyer would come at the perfect time. Three months later that is exactly what happened. In fact, the financial agreement was much better for them.
As you can see, expectations that are not met can cause numerous fear-based emotions; including anger, sadness, disappointment, and upset. However, when you can accept what does or does not happen, you can then stay positive and continue to focus on what you want. The magnetic positive thoughts can attract to you what you desire. Expectations are the culprit and acceptance is the key.
Related Tags: jobs, self-improvement, self-help, positive thinking, hurt, expectations, sadness, frustration, anger, working mothers, acceptance, bosses, contests, raises, disappointment, selling homes, upset
Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage, Family Therapist. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART! Create Love, Joy and Abundance~NOW." For her free newsletter, MP3 audio, and ebook, go to: http://www.helenerothschild.com . Note the fantastic limited time special offer: http://www.helenerothschild.com/specialoffer.html Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles
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