Why I am Writing About My Grief


by Harriet Hodgson - Date: 2007-04-06 - Word Count: 493 Share This!

The death of my 45-year old daughter from injuries sustained in a car crash was more than a shock, it was the end of my "ordinary" life. Things will never be ordinary again. My daughter is gone, her twins are without a mother, and I am without a daughter. Because I have written about grief before I am moving quickly through its stages. I decided to write about my grief and for good reasons.

THIS IS WHAT I DO. I am a writer and have no intention of stopping. To stop would almost feel like another death in the family. Ironically, one of my recent books is about anticipatory grief. Sometimes writers can predict their next work and other times they cannot. I do not know the exact topics I will write about, but I know I will write about grief. I will write about happy things, too, for I know happy moments are ahead.

WRITING IS A KIND OF DIARY. Friends who have gone through the grief process told me to keep diary. This is good advice, but unnecessary because I have already written a lot about grief. I have written about the grief of caring for a demented loved one, coping with grief during holidays, and the grief work people must do. All of these articles come from life experience.

I LEARN MORE. As a health writer I must document my work. During 28 years of writing I have gathered a small library of reference books. One of the most helpful is "When Bad Things Happen to Good People," by Harold S. Kushner. For me, the main message of the book is that grieving people try to explain death when there is no explanation. My daughter's death was a tragic accident and I must accept this fact.

LEARNING BRINGS UNDERSTANDING. Therese A. Rando, PhD, writes about the death of a child in "How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies." She describes the death of a child as an unusual, "out-of-turn" event that threatens identity. I understand what Rando means. Clearly, I am not the same person today as I was when my daughter died. My future hinges on a new mission of protecting my grandchildren and I will fulfill this mission.

I CAN HELP OTHERS. Parents have two choices when a child dies. One is to get stuck in grief and the other is to move forward with purpose. I have always tried to write books and articles that help people. The untimely death of my daughter has revitalized this purpose. With this purpose in mind, I forwarded articles to the American Hospice Foundation and www.GriefNet.com.

Judy Tatelbaum, in her book, "The Courage to Grieve," makes a case for creating something from grief. "Making our grief meaningful can be the antidote to despair and suffering as well as a stepping-stone to personal growth and achievement." That is why I am writing about grief and walking, step by step, to tomorrow.

Copyright 2007 by Harriet Hodgson


Related Tags: coping, grief, sorrow, bereavement

http://www.harriethodgson.com

Harriet Hodgson has been a freelance nonfiction writer for 28 years. She is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists and the Association for Death Education and Counseling. Her 24th book, "Smiling Through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief," written with Lois Krahn, MD, is available from http://amazon.com. A five-star review of the book is posted on Amazon. You will find another review on the American Hospice Foundaiton Web site under the "School Corner" heading. The Health Ministries Association has also posted a review.

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