The 4 Essentials for a Fulfilling Life

by Elaine Sihera - Date: 2007-01-18 - Word Count: 1743 Share This!

Do You Have SAVI© or Are You PASIV©?: The Answer Could Change Your Life

What do these two terms mean and do you know the difference between them?

Of course you would not have seen these two acronyms before, because I made them up!

In the UK we have a problem with juvenile delinquency. To deal with it, we also have a veritable explosion of orders relating to restraining anti-social behaviour (called ASBOs), which does not appear to be having the desired effect. On the other hand we have the cult of celebrity. The desire to be like celebrities, worship at their altar and seek our own 15 minutes of fame. In the first week of January 2007, turn on your television set around 9pm in the evening and 3 out of the 5 main channels all had a reality programme involving celebrities! Hardly anything else occupies prime time television now. Programme makers have discovered the current secret of getting a big audience and are milking it to capacity. So, is there any connection between anti-social behaviour and the desire for fame? You bet there is. They are two sides of exactly the same coin.

The idea for the SAVI© Self-Enrichment Concept came to me while I was trying to work out what motivated people; why some of us would do certain things but not others; why extraordinary people feel the sky is their limit while ordinary mortals prefer to see the gloomy side of life or to just do the minimum; why the hopeful ones among us see the bottle as half-full, while the 'realistic' ones see it as half empty; why some people procrastinate in making decisions and taking action while others get on with it in a jiffy and, most important of all, why some deviants turn to crime and negativity while most of us prefer the straight and narrow.

We hear a lot about failed relationships in social interactions. At work, in particular, there are always personality clashes, never-ending difference in perceptions relating to bosses, managers, project leaders and others; wide rifts between unions and management; conflict between lovers and their partners and problems between parents and children: all because of a marked lack of SAVI©, or, more likely, a perception that it's missing. Ask anyone if they enjoy their jobs and at least 60% will tell you that they don't. A significant number will also add that they can't even face going to work many mornings, while too many vote with their feet and are absent more times than they're in. Is the job all that bad? Not at all. Most people gravitate towards the things they like to do. They actually CHOSE a personal career, no one forced them into it. If they are unhappy, something more important lies at the heart of their discontent.

The meaning of SAVI©
They all lack SAVI©, but they are probably unaware that they do! I have tons of SAVI© now through my own work and achievements, but it has not always been like that. It used to be a dark struggle to get it! So why don't the majority of people have this key enrichment? Mainly because it depends on many positive things happening around them, so it won't come in neat, handy packages.

By my experienced reckoning, most people need just four major things (SAVI©) to feel great about themselves, to do anything for you, to love you to bits, to do their job well, to feel alive and kicking, to achieve a great amount in their lives and to feel like wonderful human beings. Deviants or potential criminals need a fifth element (P) to feel in control of their environment and good about themselves. That is why one can never erase criminality and deviance from our world unless that element is going to be provided from elsewhere. SAVI© is essential to our lives to boost our contribution to our home, work and environment. Where it is lacking there is a very unhappy individual, or a deviant in the making. To have SAVI© is to feel good: about the self, about life, about living and about purpose; to feel energised and at peace, more empathetic and compassionate.

Worked it out yet?

In a nutshell, SAVI© means Significance, Appreciation, Value and Inclusion. Children who are underachieving lack SAVI© - lots of it, because they feel inadequate. Workers who are unhappy lack SAVI© hence the feeling of low morale and number of lost work days; troubled teenagers in their homes lack SAVI©, spouses who are resentful and negative towards their partners all lack SAVI©, in one form or another, and young delinquents, especially those who look at ASBOs as some kind of status symbol, definitely lack SAVI©.

The Need to be 'Someone'
SIGNIFICANCE: Every one of us at some time needs to feel significant as a person, that we truly matter to others - to feel like a queen or king, if only for a day. Significance comes through personal control and authority - like running a business - which gives us that valuable anchor. Hence the rush to see our names in print or our images on TV, if only for 5 minutes; to participate in reality programmes or just to 'worship' celebrities and be a part of their world. Being significant in the office, in the local village, the school performance or in one's job is the primary reason why many people compete for positions of status, even without payment, or give themselves various titles; why they are always craving acknowledgement, promotion, recognition and responsibility. Like servicemen who carry over irrelevant ranks from the armed forces into civilian life. They do not want to lose their status and significance. They still want to feel that their titles matter to their new colleagues. A loss of significance is also why the highest level of suicide occurs among men of 65 years old, who feel surplus to requirements and fret themselves to death soon after they retire.

Put simply, we all wish to be 'someone' and will seek that opportunity wherever possible.

APPRECIATION: To be truly appreciated is crucial to our sense of belonging and the biggest sign of its importance is in the home where parents and youngsters often cannot see eye to eye, or partners take each other for granted. Love gradually dies through resentment and neglect. Many partners, who were not appreciated themselves, are reluctant to appreciate their spouses. They too get little in return and that breeds low confidence and self-esteem all round. Workers in particular, especially those who give their all every day without ever getting much thanks, praise or recognition for their tasks, feel the absence of this key element. We want to know we count, that our actions matter, that we are appreciated as contributing individuals to the home, to the profits of the business, to its success and its public reputation, but we seldom get it. And the absence of that feeling accounts for the most break-ups of relationships and the highest number of absentees from both school and work.

The Need for Approval
VALUE: Along with appreciation, we most crave the outward signs that we are wanted, worthy and have a place in someone's heart and mind. We seek that value endlessly through approval, through promotion, through praise, through acts of affirmation and above all, through love, hence the continuous need for a soulmate. Sometimes we are even afraid to put a value on ourselves in case someone else downgrades it, so we wait patiently for that value to be assigned by others - by parents, lovers, bosses, colleagues - but it is usually slow in coming and leads to much personal frustration. Trouble is, often others are too mean to show value, especially through praise, prefering to criticise instead. And so the cycle of low self-esteem continues. Not likely to have been shown any value themselves, those who are mean with this attribute tend to lack the confidence, honesty and the esteem to make someone else feel worthy.

INCLUSION: To feel appreciated, valued and significant we need to feel included. Most minority groups, underachieving children, ex-offenders, workers at the frontline who are often left out of the decision-making loop, women in a man's world and people who feel unhappy in their jobs do not feel included. They often feel on the periphery, excluded, unrecognised, insignificant and unworthy - as though they are invisible, that their voice is not being heard. That kills their motivation and obscures their sense of value. That's why many of them sabotage work objectives, vote with their feet, underachieve at school, turn to deviance or commit further crimes after prison release. The cycle of exclusion kills the spirit and empties the soul of its understanding, empathy and compassion. Hence the increasing level of crime in our community.

A lack of inclusion leads to a fifth element which all criminals crave - power.

POWER: We will never eradicate crime, only contain it, because, in an absence of true SAVI©, power is the only thing that matters: the power to maim, to rob, to bully, to intimidate, to destroy, to kill; to have some kind of authority and hold over another person's life - the ultimate power. Those who lack SAVI© are PASIV© instead. Their need for power gives them the kind of SAVI© they seek but in a way they dictate. They don't have to wait to get SAVI©, they can forcibly take it through power over another or the power of disrupting their environment and causing fear and mayhem (terrorism). That's why some people commit crimes, not through any particular need, but to test that power against established boundaries (especially young offenders) or to seek revenge for feeling excluded from their home, work or community.

The power of SAVI© is incalculable for our sense of well being. We can see its effects everywhere, especially in the reasons why people leave relationships or join political parties and exclusive clubs. They attach themselves to people and associations which provide the most SAVI© and the biggest sense of inclusion. Hence why intolerant parties like the BNP will always flourish. They feed on people's sense of powerlessness, exclusion and insignificance.

If you haven't got it, you need to focus on which element is missing for you and start the process of getting your fair share. Ask yourself honestly today: Do you have SAVI©? If not, why not? Which element is genuinely missing?

The answer could not only be enlightening, it could also make a huge difference to your world from today and change your life for good!

Related Tags: power, fame, break-up, celebrities, interaction, appreciation, absentee, asbo, deviance, inclusion

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