Over many years I've read many books on psychology. At one point in my life I even considered a career in psychology. Then, ten years ago I read a book on Neuro-Linguistic Programming, NLP.

No! I'm not going to expound on NLP. NLP was designed as a clinical process. It is a model used to treat clients in need of solutions to problems. Too many people have forgotten that.

But the relevant idea of NLP is that you are ultimately responsible for all your actions. If you are to learn about yourself you must focus on YOUR thoughts, reactions and responses to events around you.

How you treat the information you receive is as important as the messages you allow to filter through. What you focus on, what is important to you in any situation will determine what and how you think.

If you have read this far you are already demonstrating who you are. You are an inquisitive, imaginative person in search of self. You are asking, "Who am I and why do I feel the way I do?". And, the first step to understanding is to have questions in search of answers.

Where else can you being to 'Find the Real You' but within yourself?

As a child I was very shy and reserved. My parents were too critical of my efforts and constantly compared me to my older sibling who was a year ahead of me. She was better at drawing, she was better at writing, she did better at school. This has marked my childhood and my thinking now.

With time I have learned that I am very capable and caring adult. My experiences in every aspect of my life have shown that I am good at many things. Together with my wife, I have raised three very successful boys. I have had a very successful programming career. Yet, I still felt this was not enough.

Then I read NLP. NLP taught me that I must evaluate how I think about what I experience. Their model is simply a suggestion from which you can start to learn about yourself.

If you focus on problems, then your life will seem like nothing but a series of problems. If you focus on solutions and how you successfully solve the problems, you are getting closing to feeling successful.

But if you see problems simply as challenging experiences and see yourself successfully living through the challenges, then you will be closer to understanding yourself.

Life is about experience. And learning how you feel about the journey will help you to understand and love the person you are.

Your particular experience has taught you to focus on certain things. In your relationship with others you might focus on how people behave differently from your idea, your ideal of behavior. You are judging others based on your model of the world.

Allowing others to behave they way they want to is a beginning to understanding self. Challenge your beliefs. Instead of judging others, become aware of how you think, what your reasons and ideas are, what your beliefs are about how others behave.

Then, instead of assigning one motive to another's behavior, think of at least three reasons why the other person might behave in a certain way.

And, if you can do this while thinking about someone else, then also look at your reasons for behaving, thinking, believing in a certain way. When you are about to respond to someone else, think of at least three ways you can actually behave or speak.

Instead of getting angry or upset at someone for what they say, make a joke of it, or direct there attention somewhere else, or tell them a story with a moral punch line. There are many more ways to respond than in anger.

To begin the journey to Self Awareness start by thinking about how you respond to life in everyday life. Take responsibility for all your behavior, including how you think.

The search for meaning begins within your own mind.