The Difficulties of Divorce And The Effect of Divorce to Children

by Mike Herman - Date: 2007-01-20 - Word Count: 494 Share This!

Even when both spouses have known that their marriage has been rocky for some time, one of them, the husband or the wife, actually asking the other for a divorce is not only shocking, can still be quite devastating.

Marriage is tough, but divorce is even tougher, especially with the effect of divorce to children.

Talking with your children is never easy. Sure they may have heard of divorce and many will have friends that are divorced. You will find that most kids are terribly upset with the prospect of losing a parent, after all they've already been told by their friends how terrible "divorce" is.

If you have children it is of course preferable that you are able to stay married. I don't mean to stay unhappily married and be living loveless and separate lives, but still being roommates with your spouse.

What I mean is for both spouses to work on the marriage, getting counseling from a family therapist whose intent is to help you stay happily married, not help you find things to argue about, and to find it in yourself to love your spouse.

If, even with the family counseling, you find that a divorce is necessary, live as close to your former spouse as possible. This will allow you to continue being active in your children's lives and for them to see you almost on a daily basis, so that the effect of divorce to children won't be as bad as it could be.

Blaming your partner is easy and many family therapists are often divorced themselves and end up doing nothing more than facilitate the arguments between your spouse. So please be careful in choosing a family therapist. Get referrals from couples who are still married, if they ended up divorced, doesn't it stand to reason that the therapist didn't do that well?

If you and your spouse can reach an agreement amongst yourselves, via a mediator, the courts and the presiding judge are very agreeable to ruling on what you have agreed to.

Not only is mediation and/or doing it yourselves, much easier on both parties and the children, it is faster and much cheaper than if you both retain attorneys and battle each other.

If you are fortunate enough to be able to work out the divorce on your own or through a mediator, it is best for everyone involved, especially your children. However, you want to make sure that you get the legal forms and advice that you need and will prevent problem years from now.

If you do need to hire an attorney because of the complexity of your divorce, asset division, income, visitation and custody of your children, etc., make sure you find a lawyer who specializes in family law.

Get referrals and then talk with the lawyer(s) about your case and the complexities involved. Make sure that they are the attorney you feel can best represent you and get a written agreement making the fee/retainer or even a refundable retainer, clear to you.

Related Tags: attorney, lawyer, family law, mediation, mediator, the effect of divorce to children, family therapist

If you're think about LASIK or any other eye surgery and wonder about LASIK eye surgery and the associated risks, or just want to know more about how laser eye surgery works, then click on over to Mike Herman's site Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles

© The article above is copyrighted by it's author. You're allowed to distribute this work according to the Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs license.

Recent articles in this category:

Most viewed articles in this category: