Y-Series: Why Love Fades Away: Reasons and Solutions - Part II
An essential view is "never discourage your love - life partner - in his/her opinions". No matter you agree or disagree.
Look! Absolutely accept that she is yours and you are hers only. Actually, deep in your mind if this fact is paved that there is no "yours and mine" but "ours" and foundations is strongly based on this principle, in the long run you will visualize that the relation is still as young as it was in the beginning.
Listen empathically what your partner wants from you but don't speak in words because of hesitation
Take time to understand the methods of loving your partner
Ego stuff and shyness, if you really love each others, please gouge it out of your personality.
Important and unavoidable is to visit each others families regularly
Always join - try to join if working condition allows otherwise - eating meal together
Always try to shopping together, if some work or family matter restricts you then change the time but try to be together!
Try to be cool, polite, and peaceful, in empathetic tone answering if the matter is current bone of contention between Muslim world and The West. For example: freedom of speech, or sex before marriage, or emancipation of women, the concept of four wives in Islam etc…
Do not string the burning problem like the talk of Pop Benedict The XVI, or the caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon Him), radicalism in Islam etc… in your matters
Try finding out in 18 hours, at least 2 - 3 hours in good relation time with takings, and family matter settlements.
Intercultural lovers sometimes have difficulty in explaining matters. Here I will forcibly say, "Please don't discourage each other criticizing about languages corrections". Do love and romance need any words? Does it really matters? One can quickly point out saying what if the person has lost the ability of speaking, dumb who can not utter a single word… should be mean that there is no loving sense in him, take the example of Helen Keller… What is important to seek is to backup and support each others.
Share each and everything with your partner. No matter if it is your professional stuff! This involvement would bring a concept in your partner's mind "he/she is giving me importance by including/introducing me into his/her life when I am not with him/her". It would increase in loving and trust in each other.
Call each others with sweet names, like in Germany, "schätz, libeling etc…" darlings or honey in English etc… just with honored-smiling face and loving eyes…really watch the results then
Kitchen-help is a really a good technique in understanding and learning each others if did in a loving way! German saying "Backen macht freude" mean you can gain enjoyment and refreshment and be triumphant in winning the hearts of your partner
Help each other in solving personal problems e.g. finding out the car keys, or ironing the clothes…
If you are good in math or physics make a "business deal" if she is good in linguistic abilities: to teach each others. Well, it's just to create a friendly environment. Again please let the ego and shyness cross out in both of you!
Try to solve any query as soon as possible, no matter who is at fault. Islamic principles are indeed better which regards the "forgiver is more respectful in the Eyes of God - Allah". For such action you need to throw away Ego as mentioned earlier.
Compare notes by sharing and inviting some good friends or visiting them time to time
On Weekends and free days, visit nature and visualize the creation of God in close observance. Thank Him for all the beauties and pleasure which He bestowed you without any cost.
Make plans together such a way that you can at least once in a year leave your country physically and stay least a week to know God creation nearby or neighboring part of the country. The hidden point is to judge, analyze and observe Allah's creations and His blessings upon the people around. On the other hand, you can also get a lot new information about life, stories. Places.
Always make a good try to sit together while in journey, in airplane, in your car! Just feel your partners as a part and parcel of yours
Give a good "partner look" while visiting your friends, family, parties, or in public places for example shopping Malls, or things like that.
Well, today's modern technology could play disintegrating role leading to worse effects in your life somehow. Clear your partner who phoned you. Clarity and transparency in dealing the outer-home matters is also an important key to open a door to loving more.
Share your talent with your partner. When you have any transferable IP (intellectual property) share it within. For example, if you are a good designer, indoor designer, or artist, communicate sometimes with your partner too and sit together around a table to sum up and collect the ideas together establishing a new feature happily.
Make sure that your passwords and banking accounts are shared well enough with each other. You can gain trust if and only if you give complete yourself to your partner thinking that the "back doors" are closed anymore. Well, the main Idea here is only to gain love by building the trust which comes by sharing the complete personal information to your partner.
Fulfill the demands and desires of your partner fully and perfectly, In fact that is the only way out if you regard love and marriage as a holy Godly relation. Actually it doubles or triples your emotions and passions because you are mentally and psychologically free thinking to fulfill Allah's holiest blessing. Personally commenting for a true God-fearing Muslim Physicist the Islamic marriage opens a new door to your life where you seek not only the partner's physical and mental exquisiteness but also explore the gifts of our Creator.
Well there are some other certain "romantic procedures" which should be shared regularly, sharing of loving remarks, flowers, Thanksgiving to God while admiring your partner no matter how old you get! Celebrate each others important days at the home or some suitable place which you both have decided.
Keep a good smiling face with your lover.
Gift each other as Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be upon Him) told us that would bring love in between you.
Make humorous while cutting jokes, buy a nice book for that! It will bring happiness
If your partner is a good car driver, share each other driving to long-drives. This involvement can bring a good atmosphere
Never point disparity between you and your partner. Naturally designed duties and responsibilities are there somehow which one has to keep with. But if you point out then there become a certain "ordering-force" which could lead a slave-driving relation. Such an existence of a relation is seldom successful in the countries with full emancipation. It is also valid same in any part of the world.
Watch humorous movies, play which bring smile on to your face. The definition of humor and fun should be clear to you both according to some standards. Indecency, vulgarity and uneducated matters fail the family values and destroy the personal image of a good background and past life too.
When you start a life, and have decided to be with some one for ever, "till death" then forget and erase your past so that it can just give you a remarkable notice of your experience "not to repeat" and repent in your heart by praying to God. Never say your life partner that was a good time, or bad time or anything. When you started a life with your partner then, of course, the current time is the best and that is the reason you are living with. Thus, personally speaking the introduction of the past would bring nothing but clashing view in your partner's mind that he/she is still bound to his/her past which he/she thinks better then current time/relation. Understand the point.
Try to avoid those matters which may be ill-logically explained. Never boast off your physics or scientific up level to your partner. Or if she is blond, it doesn't means she has no mind in her upper story. Or things like that.
Well, consequently there is plenty to recommend for escalating your real love. As said there is much room above the top, be in love with your partner also has no boundary limits. In the east a common saying which can be somehow translated into English as if you show your stomach to someone what else is left then. One can metaphorically understand that love relation is a sacred and you have seen each other which should be a bond to loving more, with a very simple thought what is left anymore to share… leave your ego out…. The need is only to find a guided pattern in your life, practice it in your heart, seek sometimes while showing it to your partner and at the end the pattern that are governed by Allah's natural favorite way would bring a lot happiness and enjoyments in your lives.
Related Tags: bridging two hearts, repare your love, a relation with trust. sympathetic nature
To know different cultures, learn other languages, discuss closely related religions, life styles and English, Arabic calligraphy are some of the extra curricular activities which are a significant part of his life. The writer wants to deeply excuse if he offended anyone's personal opinion. He would like to write more on the success in married life and focus on Inter-cultural patching up before taking the sever step of separation which not only becomes a stigma somehow in their lives but also the lives of the coming generations. The author's pen is restricted to highlight some basic explanations about physical married relation. He will try to explain "why" in near future may be in some articles…
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