Do Dead People Really Talk?
Dear Mother was having such a good time that I couldn't spoil it for her, but c'mon … do the dead really talk?
If the dead talk then why did they pick out such an ugly woman with a big nose to talk to? How come the dead don't talk to supermodels or important people like the Pope or the President?
It's not that I would believe them anymore than I believe Sylvia Brown but that's who I would talk to if I was dead and could talk to somebody!
And if the dead can talk, how come they don't talk about where they are?
I can't possibly imagine that there's not one dead person that wouldn't complain about something. Isn't it hot in hell? Are things maybe a bit too great in heaven? And what's up with purgatory? What about a few other spots on the other side that we may not know about?
When the dead talk to Sylvia Brown they talk about things here on earth and memories. Who cares about where old car keys are or smelly gym sneakers from yesteryear? I want to know about the next major catastrophe, the next child abduction or about a terrorist plan.
Don't the dead care about national security or child safety?
I can't imagine having a conversation with the dead but I'm going to try real hard to imagine what my conversation with a dead person would be like and here it is:
Me: "Hi, how are you today?" The Dead: "I'm dead." Me: "I can't find a life insurance policy, did you leave me one?" The Dead: "How the hell should I know, I'm dead." Me: "Alrighty then, so what's it like over there on the other side?" The Dead: "Uh, didn't you hear me? I'm dead!"
This month (January '07) my Dad has been dead for ten years and I can assure anyone that if there was ever anybody who could die and send a message, he would.
Well, I haven't heard a thing from him for ten years! And I know that he likes me better than Sylvia Brown and if he knew that Sylvia would charge me an arm and a leg to talk to her about him, he wouldn't talk to her anyway.
I think all these so called 'psychics' are full of it and they rip people out of their money so they can be rich. I'll admit it, watching Sylvia is some great entertainment. I enjoy watching her, but she should wear a t-shirt that says 'for entertainment purposes only please' if she's gonna charge.
On the other hand if Sylvia calls me up tonight because she's gotten a message from the other side to let her know I'm talking trash about her skills and she can prove it … I'll take back all that I've said.
I'll even spend the rest of my life spreading the word that she is the real deal and to sweeten the deal, I'll wash her pantyhose too.
(Five minutes later!) My phone hasn't rang yet so I'm confident that I'm right. So the next time you see a fortuneteller, save your money for something more important like a Big Mac.
Related Tags: dead, death, psychic, dying, heaven, hell, afterlife, fortuneteller, sylvia brown, purgatory
This girl is a trip! To read more just visit http://www.zonemom.com
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