Self Improvement Articles - How many times do we look at ourselves in the Mirror?
'When I was drinking I would never look at myself squarely in the mirror,' says Carmen. 'I would wake up in the morning, and I'd notice the bags under my eyes, the dehydrated skin - and I would put on more make-up and moisturizer. I would drink orange juice for the hangovers. I was deceiving myself. I was thinking, ‘it's okay; everybody does it.'
For Stella, the mirror became a reflection of her dissolution. 'When I was drunk I would look into it and I would say ‘Look, you and I are drunk, but nobody knows about us.' The very dichotomy of our roles as women is a barrier to seeking treatment. We're expected to be ladylike, but also independent and in control. Both of these requirements mean it is especially difficult for women to admit to a problem and seek help. Add to that the stigma of alcoholism and it's no wonder that women wait for many years, decades even, before surrendering to what Carmen terms 'the gift of desperation'.
Very often women leave it later than men and because alcohol takes a physical toll on women much quicker, they are often quite damaged when they arrive for help.
But there's only one way to recovery, and it's not easy. The using of alcohol is never the problem. It's only when you take the alcohol away that you get insight into why that person needs to use it. Making the 'searching and fearless moral inventory' required by step four of the 12-step recovery program is a cornerstone of breaking through the addiction, as is the spiritual awareness that is essential to what Stella describes as an 'evolutionary program on a deep, deep level'.
The spiritual aspect of the 12-step program requires that addicts develop a relationship with a higher power, but as they understand it to be. 'My higher power is symbolized by a praying mantis,' says Stella, as she lifts a wire sculpture of a praying mantis. 'It's amazing how often they turn up - I find them in my garden, under leaves, in my car...'
Having the support from others, she says, is 'a power greater than just one'. Alone, Carmen and Stella agree one cannot fight alcohol addiction. They are both continuing to attend their follow-up meetings, to do their daily readings. Says Stella, 'to believe in something other than money is to be truly free. It's a password to a phenomenal life, and I have had glimpses of incredible blessedness'.
'I have to research constantly to keep reminding myself of how-cunning this disease is,' says Carmen, who says she is finally able to set her own goals and to put her foot down. 'For the first time in years I'm me again. I can make my own decisions. It's like a light going on. Within two weeks (after checking in) I knew that my marriage was over. I'm still in the middle of the divorce, but every day I feel better. I've learnt to stop blaming others. I see clearly how alcohol destroyed my life, slowly and insidiously; how it made me moody and de-motivated and then depressed. But I'm happy now. I'm getting back into work after 15 years and I'm giving to something and getting something back. I'm not just giving all the time. Every day there is a little more light.'
And while Candice stumbles on in darkness, she ends our call with a promise that she will attend a meeting. 'I'm going to do it,' she says. 'I look at my girls and I wonder what kind of mother I'm becoming.'
Sandra Prior runs her own bodybuilding website at http://bodybuild.rr.nu.
Related Tags: help, treatment, alcohol, addicts, drunk, alcoholism, drinking, addictions, hangovers
Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles
Recent articles in this category:
- The Resurgence of Fred Perry Clothing
Summer might long be over and Wimbledon may be a distant memory, however the fashion is a year round - Uncovering Men's Tank Tops
I don't know a thing about you, but I'll bet that you have worn a tank top. Tank tops have also been - Make Use of Silk Scarves to Take Good Care of Your Skin
In the event you are new about silk scarves, you could never read about this particular feature of s - Just For Men Scarves - the Preference For Guys in the Vogue Domain
If you are not certain what style of present you could provide for men, maybe you can consider men s - Think Black Friday Shopping is Beyond Your Budget?
Moms who are juggling the bills and still trying to provide the perfect holiday gift to loved ones a - How to Make Conscious Shopping Choices
Many people have heard the phrase "voting with your dollars" and they understand that it means your - Silk Scarves - Unique Present Approach in Xmas Seasons
The most prevalent silk add-on is scarves, and many focus is presented on inspired designing on thes - Benefits of an Aloe Vera Shampoo
A lot of people are not aware of the specific benefits that using an aloe vera shampoo can do to the - How Effective is the Power of Your Subconscious Mind?
Most people are bombarded with this thought whenever they feel weak and wish to affect certain chang - Silk Scarf - the Record For Human Being in the Style History
Throughout the 19th and 20th centuries the worldwide recognition of silk scarves developed dramatica
Most viewed articles in this category:
- Surf and Turf: the Race Track
Surf and Turf: The Race TrackOne of the favorite places for The G to hang out at, especially in Summ - Are You Looking For Cholesterol Drugs Without Side Effect?
High cholesterol level is probably one of the widely spread complication among Americans. Almost for - Friday the 13th could be a lucky day?
Friday the 13th sounds unlucky ? Traditional superstition ? And a lot of people dislike it and beli - Don't Judge A Man
Our world is full of bad tongues, fault-finders, gossipers, mockers, and insulters but do these grou - When Personalized Gifts Make a Difference
Finding the right gifts for a particular occasion is always a challenging task. Sometimes it is nic - Managing My Resistance: Learning To Flow With What Life Offers
One of the things that interests me most about conflict is the tendency to resist it and the ways in - What Are Horoscopes Based On?
If you do not know much about astrology, you may wonder what are horoscopes based on and how astrolo - 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make
We often find ourselves amid the wreckage of a love gone wrong, wringing our hands and asking, "Why - Motivation as the heart of self improvement
You should be able to find several indispensable facts about Motivation in the following paragraphs - Is Complete Abstinence from Use of Paychoactive Substances Necessary for Recovery?
Can a sober alcoholic in recovery who has no history of abuse of marijuana, use marijuana without