Relationships Are You Dating Your Sibling, Mom or Dad?


by Murad Ali - Date: 2007-07-12 - Word Count: 425 Share This!

It sounds pretty sick but if you bear with me for just a moment you will see that it is all very possible. Of course we are not talking about physically dating your relatives only that you are potentially dating the traits that you like in them and in yourself. We seem to have a propensity to date people like ourselves and people that we associate warm feelings with.

Social psychology tells us that we date people of similar attitudes, political beliefs and religious beliefs (Buss, 2003). That means we are dating people with the same backgrounds and ethnicity as the people we are most familiar with. Rarely do we venture seriously outside of this safety zone.

Let us say that you are a white, upper class, professional. You will probably be attracted to white, upper class females. Why? They share your political preferences, your mannerisms associated with social class, your expectations of family and possibly even the same religion you adhere to.

Your concept of how a woman or a man should act is also defined by your parents. Let us assume that your mother was a home maker who doted on her children whenever she could. She would pick you up from school, make your lunches and display a pleasing attitude.

Well if your mother was this nice it isn't likely you are going to be attracted to a woman who is career minded, couldn't care less about children and argues with you every chance she gets. You want the lifestyle for your children that you experience. You want your family traditions to stay alive. In other words, you have associated the ideal mate with your mother.

Maybe you just want to date yourself? It is really not that far fetched. There are many people who should probably just physically date themselves but that are not what we are talking about here. Klohnen and Mendelsohn (1998) found that people prefer dates that share the traits they like in themselves and want to complement the traits they do not like about themselves. You know you just want to date yourself!

The next time you go out on a date think about how similar that person is to your family members in terms of life style, how much they look and act like your mother/father, and how similar they are to your personality. Who would know that you subconsciously desire to date your own family members?

Murad Ali, a two-time published author, writes articles and offers advertisement space for businesses. Visit http://www.thenewbusinessworld.blogspot.com and http://www.datingdesires.blogspot.com


Related Tags: characteristics, traits, dating family, family dating

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