Praising Children, Good Or Bad?


by Susan T Roberts - Date: 2009-10-01 - Word Count: 486 Share This!

Life is very interesting in that the human race passes from generation to generation and with it comes a stream of fashions, phases and seasons. Every generation has its 'thing' and the area of parenting is no exception. Every generation brings with it a new set of parenting fads and trends. It seems that for each generation, psychologists and behavioral scientists formulate a new set of theories that they present to parents as the techniques that will produce the brightest, healthiest, most well-adjusted children. In these today's times, most parents want their children to be among the highly successful. They want their children to complete their education and to go out into the working world and conquer.

One parenting trend of recent years has been the praising of our children. Initially, parents were encouraged to use praise as a way of encouraging their children to do well and to do what was right. Behavioral scientists believed that praise could be used to encourage and to give confidence to children when given at the right time. Without a doubt, praising children is definitely a good thing to do and it is still a highly recommended way of encouraging children. However it has stirred up some discussion recently with some experts claiming that praising children can actually be bad. The say, it can be taken to an extreme that if left unchecked can be quite unhealthy.

If you understand the phrase, 'too much of a good thing', then you can understand the idea of how too much praise can be bad for children. Due to a misunderstanding on why it is good to praise children, some parents praise their children for everything they do, whether good or bad. Not matter whether they have succeeded or failed. Praise can quickly become ineffective when everything that a child does is praised. This indicates to the child that there is no difference between right and wrong since they receive praise for both.

Often parents 'over-praise' their children because they don't want to hurt their child's feelings or because they don't want their children to feel bad. Studies have shown however that unconditional praise creates confusion in the minds of children. In fact, they show that too much arbitrary praise can have the opposite effect of what parents want. It can give children the impression that their parents don't actually care what they do because they will be praised either way.

Praise is something that should be given in moderation. Just like any reward, if you get it too easily and too often, it loses its ability to motivate. Given at the right time and for the purpose of encouragement, praise is highly effective. Praise that is specific will encourage a child to repeat the behavior he is being praised for. So remember, [raise should be positive, specific and earned. When used in this way, it can be very effective in building the self-esteem your child.


Further writing from Susan Roberts can be found on Hubpages covering topics such as Should Your Child Have A TV In Their Own Room?. She also writes for KS Child Locate.n
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