All too quickly our children reach that age at which they feel the need to leave home and to strike out on their own and part of our role as parents is to do everything in our power to see that they are ready when that day comes. Amongst other things, that means teaching them to be independent.

Now independence doesn't mean that they have to be able to survive without other people or to be equipped with the intellectual and emotional values necessary to survive without any input from others. However, it does mean equipping them with sufficient independence so that they can think for themselves and make their own decisions without being unduly influenced by other people.

Throughout our lives we are constantly presented with choices, many of which are difficult and a few of which are downright unpleasant. With every choice we have to make we can either simply follow the pack and do what everybody else does or we can consider our options and make a conscious and reasoned decision based on what we believe is best. The problem is that the ability to make choices for ourselves is not something which develops naturally and is a skill we need to learn and which we have to practice.

We learn this skill in a variety of different ways and practice is day-to-day at school, when playing sport or following our hobbies and, most important of all, we learn it at home from our parents.

Like most skills which we need to learn and practice to perfect, we will stumble from time to time and we'll discover that we would probably have achieved better results if we had paid a little more attention to the advice we were being given and adopted a little bit less of an 'I know what I'm doing' attitude. Nevertheless, as we mature and practice honing the skill we hopefully learn enough to give us the independence necessary to allow us to strike out on our own.

The biggest dilemma for any parent, especially when dealing with teenagers, is to know just when to stand back and let children make their own mistakes and when to intervene.

Anyone who has been through the experience of raising a teenager will know only too well just what it feels like to give your son or daughter the benefit of your advice and to know that they are not about to heed it. If you simply step back you know that they'll fall flat on their face, which is not easy when you've spent the last few years providing a safety net to stop them from doing just that. If you intervene and stop them from making a mistake then you may well feel more comfortable but they will not benefit from the experience of learning the consequences of making a poor decision.

Another big problem for many parents is that this point in our childrens' lives marks the start of a phase in their development when it appears that they are beginning to need you less and less and many parents become very conscious of the fact that their children are growing up and that the day when they will leave home is approaching all to fast.

In reality of course this represents a particularly important phase for all parents as your children now need you more than ever and your teaching, support and influence will do much to determine just how well they will cope with adult life.

So how do you get the balance right?

Well, although it's not always easy, you need to distinguish between those mistakes which could potentially put your children in harms way, or those decisions which would result in a poor outcome from which it would be difficult to recover, and decisions which will produce a poor outcome, but for which corrective action can be taken.

If your child is about to follow a course of action which you know will result in irreparable danger then you should intervene. However, if the situation can be recovered, then you need to stand back and let things run their course, but be ready to offer advice and help when the child realizes his or her mistake.

There is no better lesson in life than that learnt through experience and our children need to be given the opportunity to learn from their own mistakes.

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com