Investors Night Before Christmas

by Branden Moskwa - Date: 2006-12-24 - Word Count: 455 Share This!

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not an investor was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stop losses were placed on stocks with care,
With hopes that great profits would soon be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a brief midnight nap.

When on my blackberry there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the television I flew like a flash,
I flipped all the channels to CNBC, at last.

The rustle and bustle with news of a loan
Gave the luster of mid-day to shares that I own,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a tiny soundboard was music to my ears,

With a bald little man, so lively not tamer,
I thought in a moment it must be Jim Cramer.

More rapid than eagles his companies they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now Microsoft! now, Sirus! now, Google and Nortel!
On, Apple! on Jones! on Boeing and Intel!

To the top of the market! to the top of the Wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, still they soar to the sky,

So up to the skys they flew,
With a folio full of stock picks from guess who!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard a truck backing
Cramer and his soundboard were certainly not lacking

As I scribbled on a notepad and was turning around,
Down the chimney Cramer came with a bound.

He was dressed in a suit, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all sparkling not a bit of soot;

A bundle of shares he had flung from his lips,
And he looked like a peddler throwing out tips.

His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

Billowing from his ears nothing but smoke,
Shook all the markets when this little elf spoke

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke so fast, and went straight to his work,
Filled my portfolio with stocks, and turned with a jerk

And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, to the sky the stocks rose;

He sprang from the soundboard, and the stocks they ignited,
Away they all flew, this Christmas, I was excited!

I heard him exclaim, as the stocks they took flight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.

Related Tags: stock, market, trading, investing, christmas, poem, funny, poetry, investors, jim, cramer

Jennifer Mycock & Branden Moskwa of, your stock market trading and stock investing resource, with access to articles on Stock market trading and stock investing. Penny stocks to mutual fund investing, tips and secrets and all the latest hot press releases., Financial Metrolopis, Thriving Community

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