If I asked you whether or not you thought you were a truly effective leader, you would probably say "no". Well, guess what - you'd be absolutely right. And you'd be absolutely wrong.

You see, very few of us are exceptional leaders by nature. But we are leaders nonetheless, regardless of whether we realize it or not, and the influence we have on others, particularly if we are around young children for any length of time, is exceptional despite our awareness - or lack of awareness - of how we exert that influence.

I call it "Every Day Leadership".

And all that means is that every minute of every day, we lead others - whether we know it or not - by the example we set. We lead by how we show up and play the game of life.

I believe there are Five Essential Steps of Every Day Leadership. These five steps are the things that we must all focus on if we want to become exceptional leaders at a conscious level, meaning that we are conscious of the example we set for others.

The Five Essential Steps of Every Day Leadership are:

1. Total Life Ownership - This is taking responsibility for every single thing that happens in your life, whether you happen to like it or not. It means asking "how did I contribute to this result?" and it means acknowledging the influence you have in other people's lives as well as what influence you may allow others to have in your life.

2. Maintain a Positive Focus - You do have a choice in how you perceive things. You can choose to see the glass as half-full or half-empty. You can choose to see failure as a fault or as an opportunity to learn and grow. Choose to smile, to see the good in people and events, even when others around you are choosing not to.

3. Know Your End Game - Understand what you are working towards so that you can weigh choices against that target and choose appropriately. When we know where we want to go we are able to say "no" to the things that take us away from our goals and we can avoid the trap of simply plodding along in our current track because that feels like the path of least resistance.

4. Commit to Constant Learning - True leaders are always growing themselves and they tend to have very open minds. They are willing to examine things that they might not already understand or which may contradict their current beliefs. And when they receive new information they are more than willing to give up their old position in order to embrace their new understanding.

5. Take Action - Without fail, great leaders are people of action. They gather as much information as they possibly can, make the most informed decision possible and then begin taking action. They correct and continue along the way as they get new information or as their actions create feedback as to whether what they are doing is working or not. These leaders know that nothing will ever be perfect and while most of us sit waiting for things to be perfect, they are off taking action.

Gandhi put it best when he said: Be the change you wish to see in the world. He also said: My life is my message.

These are powerful concepts that I want you to try and embrace. Your Action Step is to measure yourself in the "Five Essential Steps of Every Day Leadership" and pick just one that you are going to re-commit to. Jot down the ways in which you can improve any or all of these areas of leadership and refer to your list whenever you have a moment.

Remember, it is our duty as individuals to set the example for others. Actions truly do speak louder than words and your actions in the area of Every Day Leadership will speak volumes about who you are as a person.

Be the change you wish to see. Make your life your message.