As I sit here at my iMac, organizing my iLife, which provides all the tools I need to work outside the office - quite frankly I don't know how I got by without it --I want to share with you an exciting advancement in the world of product placement. Product placement, the practice of featuring commercial products prominently in movies and television programs, including Law and Order, the show whose exciting stories are ripped straight out of today's headlines, has now expanded to include "chick lit".

For those few of you out of the know, chick lit is a new term for a style of romantic fiction that appeals to young women. For example, "Bridget Jones Diary", written by Helen Fielding, recently made into a charming and wildly successful motion picture from Miramax starring Renee Zellweger, is an example of chick lit.

It has nothing to do with Chiclets, the gum. Yet. "Say, how about a Chiclet to go with that chick lit you're reading?" Wow, that just popped into my head! I wonder what they would pay for a product tie-in concept like that? I'm going to run down to Washington DC on the Amtrak Metroliner, now operating with 75% less accidents, and get that copyrighted before somebody steals my idea.

I'm back, but I must tell you that there is nothing that calms your nerves after a harried trip to our nation's capital than a Starbucks Grande Tazo Chai Tea, mmmmm. I actually feel one with the world and for only $3.85.

Chick lit and product placement. Here we go. The marketing visionaries at Ford Motor Company came up with the brilliant idea to pay British novelist Carole Matthews to mention their cars in her novels and short stories. Her latest book, "The Sweetest Taboo" features her Ford Fiesta that she calls Flossie. The Ford website, which I managed to click through easily and seamlessly using Microsoft's Explorer internet browser, reports that "The Ford Fiesta comes alive in the pages of "The Sweetest Taboo" and will also star in a selection of short stories that Carole is writing …[which] will be snapped up by women's magazines and national newspapers."

According to the BBC's World Business Report, Ms. Matthews states that whenever her heroine is driving a car, it will now be a Ford Fiesta. "That's the only thing they've asked me to do, they've placed no other constraints on my writing at all," she says.

Gosh, all that cash up front and no constraints. I would love the opportunity to write a major novel after striking a deal with a major corporation, but I'm not cut out for novels. I hear you have to stay up late, drink and chain smoke and I know I don't have the discipline to keep that up for long. I'm more of an idea guy, which is another way of saying there might be an angle for me to get rich in this new industry without knowing anything or doing any real work. I'll tell you how, if you promise not to email, phone or direct connect to anyone using your BlackBerry 7510™ until I return from the copyright office via the Amtrak Metroliner, now serving premium Bigelow teas.

I've launched a new company called Literary Product Placement Matchmakers(r). I'm going to contact the authors or copyright owners of the world's most beloved novels and ask them to ever so slightly rewrite their books to mention some of the world's most beloved products.

Take "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" for example. There's a scene in the beginning of the novel where Tom has to paint a fence and he's just about conned his buddy, Ben into helping him complete the job. Here's what's in the book. "Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little," Ben begs.

Here's what we add. "Whitewash? Ben, this here's Benjamin Moore Autumn White, with a 15-year guarantee not to fade, crack or peel for gosh sakes - this ain't no whitewash! It's a good thing Aunt Polly didn't hear you say that, she'd box both our ears!"

Ka Ching!

How about "The Godfather" after poor Sonny Corleone was shot to death at the tollbooth at Jones Beach? The phone rings, Corleone consigliere Tom Hagan answers and hears on the other end: "Sonny's dead, they got him at the Jones Beach toll."

We add: Hanging up, Tom cries to the heavens, "Poor Sonny, if only he listened to the family doctor and corrected his violent mood swings with Prozac(r) Weekly™, he'd probably be home with Mama right this very moment making pies. "

Here's your check, Mr. Hartnett and thank you.

How about that old children's classic, "Green Eggs and Ham"? Remember this: "Would you? Could you? In a car? Eat them. Eat them. Here they are. I would not, could not, in a car."

We add: "Unless it is a Ford Freestar. With a 3.9L SPI V6 and overhead cam. I'd gladly eat green eggs and ham!"

The possibilities are endless, just like the beautiful, tranquil sunsets my wife and I would like to experience at Club Med Sandals(r) resort, created exclusively for couples in love. Anybody from Club Med reading this article? Call me. Please?