How The Self-esteem Movement Has Hurt Our Kids.
- Date: 2007-04-23 - Word Count: 486
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I've had it! I'm fed up and I'm speaking out. Self esteem, the all encompassing, 'I'm so wonderful mantra' has become just too much. What started out innocently enough and was even beneficial has morphed in to a world where one achieves simply by breathing and an ever increasing amount of parents are afraid to hold their children to standards simply because they're terrified they might somehow negatively impact their child's sense of self.
It's not that self esteem is wrong, simply that our pendulum has swung far too much toward 'self' to the detriment of the rest of society. We should gain in self-esteem because we achieve something worthy, not simply because we exist. That combined with self-esteem's cousin, political correctness, means today's parents are in a bind. Not only do we have a situation where kids are often out of control but it seems few of us have the guts to call it the way it is.
Yes, childhood for many out there has become a smorgasbord of indulgence and it's hurting our kids. We may be able to keep them cloistered, pandering to their every need whilst little but it's those years that are their formative ones. If at that starting point you allow them to run with the idea that the world revolves around them, you are doing them a mighty disservice. Think about it. How many times as an adult do you get the rough end of a deal, left to finalize that report whilst your superior goes home, left to do the dishes again whilst your partner worn out, snores his way through a TV show. Life has much to commend it and although it is not fair there is much to be gained from going that extra mile. If the world is always about you, how will you make those first faltering steps.
Childhood is special but it's also a time of preparation. No one's saying that you should unleash all the requirements of the larger world all at once. However, it is a parent's job to slowly introduce children to how the real world works in measures that they can cope with. Teaching a child to share means that by the time they are in school they are prepared to be one of a group. They have learnt for a short time to put their own immediate needs behind that of the larger community, the class and they are well on their way to developing a spirit of co-operation.
With all the stresses that our world will be under in the next century, a spirit of co-operation is perhaps one of the most important to cultivate. Now more than ever before we are going to need adults who are self-disciplined, self sacrificing and whose outlook is one of what they can do for the world rather than what the world can do for them. And remember, it has to start somewhere.
It's not that self esteem is wrong, simply that our pendulum has swung far too much toward 'self' to the detriment of the rest of society. We should gain in self-esteem because we achieve something worthy, not simply because we exist. That combined with self-esteem's cousin, political correctness, means today's parents are in a bind. Not only do we have a situation where kids are often out of control but it seems few of us have the guts to call it the way it is.
Yes, childhood for many out there has become a smorgasbord of indulgence and it's hurting our kids. We may be able to keep them cloistered, pandering to their every need whilst little but it's those years that are their formative ones. If at that starting point you allow them to run with the idea that the world revolves around them, you are doing them a mighty disservice. Think about it. How many times as an adult do you get the rough end of a deal, left to finalize that report whilst your superior goes home, left to do the dishes again whilst your partner worn out, snores his way through a TV show. Life has much to commend it and although it is not fair there is much to be gained from going that extra mile. If the world is always about you, how will you make those first faltering steps.
Childhood is special but it's also a time of preparation. No one's saying that you should unleash all the requirements of the larger world all at once. However, it is a parent's job to slowly introduce children to how the real world works in measures that they can cope with. Teaching a child to share means that by the time they are in school they are prepared to be one of a group. They have learnt for a short time to put their own immediate needs behind that of the larger community, the class and they are well on their way to developing a spirit of co-operation.
With all the stresses that our world will be under in the next century, a spirit of co-operation is perhaps one of the most important to cultivate. Now more than ever before we are going to need adults who are self-disciplined, self sacrificing and whose outlook is one of what they can do for the world rather than what the world can do for them. And remember, it has to start somewhere.
Related Tags: parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, parenting style, parenting help, child behavior, parenting guide, parenting article, parent and child
Annie the Nanny provides advice and techniques to empower parents and help them with any behavior issues their child or children may be having. Trained and experienced, she helps parents by showing them the keys to bringing up happy, confident and well-behaved children. Banish whining, bedtime battles, or other challenging behaviors. Check out her website www.anniethenanny.ca for lots of information, fun articles, parenting podcast plus even get your parenting questions answered for free! Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles
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