Should A Woman Keep Her Maiden Name When She Gets Married?


by Lisa Gunther - Date: 2007-04-02 - Word Count: 558 Share This!

This can be a touchy subject. There are many reasons to keep your maiden name, take your husband's last name or come up with a hyphenated last name.

Option 1: Keeping your maiden name

This is sure to raise a few eyebrows and stir up a little gossip with the older relatives and family friends. Most of the time this is done when a woman has an established career or name for herself in a given field. She doesn't want to start with a new name and have to build her reputation or name recognition under that new last name. This is an understandable reason to keep a maiden name. Any other reason may signal that a woman is hesitant in joining her new family or has underlying issues with her new husband.

Option 2: Take your husband's last name

Changing your name to your husband's last name when you marry is the most traditional way to go. It shows both families and the world that you are giving up your last name to become a part of a new family. You're not forsaking your family. You are becoming part of a new family unit with your husband. If you don't want to fully part with your maiden name, make it your middle name.

It demonstrates to your husband that you love him so much that you willingly and gladly want to carry his last name as your own. You two are building a life together and it makes sense to have the same last name. What about when children come along? Mom and dad will have the same last name … just like the good old days when people put family first.

Option 3: The hyphenated last name.

Some men and women change both their names to a hyphenated combination of the man's last name and the woman's maiden name. This is trendy and modern. It takes a really flexible guy to change his last name at marriage.

Most of the time if there is a hyphenated last name, it is just the woman that does this. Maybe there is no one left to carry on the legacy of her maiden name? This way she can keep a family name alive. Maybe she has built up a solid career under her maiden name but wants to show her husband that she also wants to carry his name. The hyphenated combination last name is a good compromise.

The man and woman should talk about what happens when children come along in the future. Will they carry the hyphenated name or only the last name of the father? Get this discussion out of the way right away to avoid any problems in the future with the naming of the children.

A friendly discussion over the topic at a nice dinner is probably the best setting to talk about this topic. This might be a sensitive subject if you are deciding to do something non-traditional and have a strong opinion. It isn't a show-stopper but is certainly worthy of some frank discussion so that both the man and the woman are on the same page on this topic. Again, remember that marriage is about compromise and this will be one of the first compromise issues to come up. So start off the marriage on the right track with a decision that you have both have talked about and are happy with.


Related Tags: groomsmen gifts, married, groomsmen, maiden name, keep maiden name, last name

Lisa Gunther is a freelance writer, product reviewer and co-founder of Gunther Gifts Inc., an engraving firm headquartered out of Carlsbad, California. Gunther Gifts is the place to go when you need an engraved or personalized gift for a special occasion such as for groomsmen gifts for a wedding, bridesmaid gifts, wedding favors, invitations, graduation gifts, birthday gifts, engraved Zippo lighter, Leatherman tools, Swiss Army knives, shot glasses or beer mugs, liquor flasks, baseballs and bats and so much more. Over 120,000 customers have been served online at Gunther Gifts.

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