Everyone has his or her way of coping with grief after the loss of a loved one. Here are some ways to cope with and prepare for the loss of a loved one such as in a long illness or failing health, or in the sudden death of a friend or relative.

First of all let's define death. It is the cessation of all body functions with no possibility of revival. It is absolute brain failure. Also after 5 complete minutes of loss of oxygen the brain ceases to function. Also clinical death is not actual death. If the body has totally stopped functioning and the brain has stopped working there can be no recovery. Life as we know it is over. Some organs may be saved and used to be transplanted or artificial respiration may be used for one reason or another as in sparing organs but if a person is brain dead life has ceased for that person.

While religious beliefs help a person cope with death the one thing that is for certain is that there is total disconnection with life after death. Any belief that a person can communicate with others after death is totally false.

What we can do to help prepare for the death of our friends and neighbors is to be honest about how we feel about them. If you have someone you truly do care for let them know from time to time that you love them or that you appreciate what they do for you. This is especially difficult for men but once that person dies your chance of ever letting them know how you felt about them or knowing how they really felt about you is lost forever with absolutely no reassurance to be found. We must learn to reiterate to each other our true feelings without being overbearing. We must cherish and hold on to important memories and moments with our friends and loved ones. For example if a person said something to you that you care about that was inspiring write it down and save it. Tell a another friend about it. Saving and sharing important events and thoughts serve as a comforting buffer during the most extreme times of grief in the early stages. Even if a person has given you a gift that really shown that they, or makes you feel that they think highly of you, take care of that gift and be sure to preserve it even if it no longer works. If a person has asked you to do them a favor or carry out a mission of importance to them, preserve and save that request by writing it down and also share it with friends. Make it a point to carry out any favor that they have asked of you. When the end does come for that person should they pass away first, you will have absolute memories to hold on to and share with sympathetic and caring friends.

Some grief requires extensive counseling such as sudden loss due to an accident or an unknown health issue. But these basic issues that I have discussed here still apply. In the final analysis you and you alone will have to cope with your grief after the death of a loved one and these very important steps will act as the keys to helping you cope.

In the second half of this article I would like to discuss preparing for the loss of a loved one who is suffering from morbid illness. or terminal failing health. Often times a person wants to discuss with their friends and loved ones, how he or she feels about dying, fears of leaving their families insecure, burdening their loved ones, things that need to be put in order or feelings that they need to put to rest. It is often hard to cope with these aspects of dying but it is important to help your friend or relative to get through this very difficult time before they pass. This will help you to have closure and help put your mind at ease during the time you are most heartbroken in the early stages of grief.

As you gradually begin to heal from your grief try and speak fondly and lovingly of the one you lost and not to over burden your friends by writing down your most intimate and happy thoughts. Try and become more active and get on with your life. Remember you still have other friends who care for you and your own life to live. No caring and loving person would want you to spend the rest of your life grieving for them. After all you too will have to eventually die and you would not want your friends in a constant grieving state .

Life most end for all of us but we can soften the blow if we accept in our minds that death is not going to go away.