Changing Conflict To Dialogue
It is easier to create an argument than it is to create a dialogue. You do this when you have a different opinion than someone else about how to solve a problem, and you act as if there is one correct answer and your task is find it.
As long as you believe that a single correct course of action exists, you debate the issue. You try to convince others that a particular position is correct. Someone wins and someone loses. Even when you believe that this is an outmoded way to solve problems, you continue to use it, because it is comfortable and familiar (Business as usual).
Dialogue, a technology for creating understanding in groups, is different. Dialogue is inclusive instead of exclusive. Dialogue is based upon the belief that there are many ways of approaching any issue, and that no single one is correct.
The aim of Dialogue is to create a forum in which ideas can be explored, expanded, deepened and illuminated until new meaning and understanding emerge. Instead of trying to create support for your own positions, when you engage in Dialogue you listen to and question others, attempting to deepen your understanding of all of the information being presented.
The principles are simple, but not easy to put into practice. The challenge is to listen with care to each statement or question that is offered, and to respond in a way that deepens the investigation of the topic that is being explored.
You may then offer a statement of your own understanding, or ask a question to focus the exploration in a new direction.
When everyone in the group agrees to practice the Dialogue process, learning increases dramatically. However, even if you're the only one interested in changing the conversation, you can make a good start at it by following these steps.
Being clear is more important than being right.
Instead of trying to prove that your idea or position is correct, your task is to explain your beliefs carefully, so that others can understand them. As others come to understand your position, they may ask questions to clarify their understanding. Or they may also offer observations of their own that will allow you to better understand other aspects of your original ideas.
Eventually a shared understanding is developed from many contributions, and the idea comes to belong to the entire group instead of to any single member of the group.
If it is necessary to make a decision about the issue being addressed, it is done after the exploration is completed. Often such decisions emerge quickly and easily without any need to debate different positions. Everyone present has had the opportunity to be heard and acknowledged and has made a contribution to the outcome. Commitment to such decisions is high (NOT just business as usual).
Exploring different perspectives on the truth instead of arguing about which is correct can best be accomplished in a protected environment. It takes time to practice the skills of listening deeply and asking questions instead of advocating your favorite positions.
Setting aside uninterrupted time to explore issues, without expecting to achieve any particular result, and agreeing to simple rules like allowing each speaker to complete a statement without interruption, are basic conditions necessary to begin the process. Learning to say "I wonder what would happen if…" instead of "I think you should…" is an important part of establishing an environment for Dialogue.
Trained professional facilitators can help you and your group learn how to implement these procedures.
Related Tags: communication, business communication, dialogue, argument, conflict management, problem-solving
Communicate skillfully about sensitive subjects in business situations. Have the challenging conversations that lead to cooperation and success. http://www.DareToSayIt.com/blog Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. is a Master Certified Coach and communication expert. Dr. Weiss has spent 35 years helping clients resolve conflict in business and personal relationships. Email feedback@laurieweiss.com Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles
Recent articles in this category:
- Chip Resetter
Some printer manufacturers, such as Canon, HP, Epson and Lexmark, put a chip into their inkjet or to - Services, Benefits And Selection Of Conference Call Provider
If you are seriously seeking for a conference call provider then be very careful in selecting the mo - Making The Most Out Of Your Chosen Business Phone Service Provider
In the United States, many cheap business phone services are available, as well as the services of i - Essential Buyers Guide For The Iphone 4
Released in the UK on the 24th June 2010, the iPhone 4 is considered by many to be the latest must-h - Various Business Phone Service Provider Choices
Communicate with your trading partners and a customer with the most productive way that does not eve - Conference Calling Companies - What Should You Really Look For In Conference Calling Companies.
First, let us first determine exactly what a conference call is.A conference call is really a phone - Sim Free Mobile Phone- Freedom From Any Kind Of Sim Free Phones.
SIM free mobile phone is the most popular mobile phones as it is with various offers and plan like t - Professional Yet Cheap Cell Phone Service Through Internet
Today, the demand and needs of commercial business has changed drastically. Now, the business patron - New Cellphones - High Tech Mobile Phones With Wonderful Features
New cellphones have become the essential widgets for communication and enjoyment. Gone are the days - Using Your Smartphone As Wi-fi
Using your cell phone to provide Wi-Fi to your laptop or iPad has now become an everyday occurrence.
Most viewed articles in this category:
- LG U830: Flavor of Chocolate, Power of 3G
Taking cues from the award winning design of the LG Chocolate, the latest offering, the LG U830 is - T-mobile: Bringing World 'simply Closer'
A proud member of one of the world's largest mobile companies, T-mobile is the UK network of T-mobil - Dishnetwork Is Better Than Other Television Service Providers
With over 12 million subscribers and a ranking of number one in customer satisfaction from JD Power - Sony Ericsson W850i: Complete Musical Package
To remain competitive in the market and to add novelty in its Walkman series Sony Ericsson has broug - Se K800i: an Excellent Camera Phone
Sony Ericsson's K800i is the first handset that comes with Cyber-shot brand and gives a true picture - Dish Network Offers A Variety Of Programming Packages
Dish Network offers a variety of programming packages for everyone's wants, needs, and budgets. Even - The Power of Influence
Years ago, the Carnegie Institute of Technology analyzed the records of ten thousand people and conc - Choosing A Web Hosting Provider By Their Customer Service
When choosing a web-hosting provider, there will be tons of questions you need answered before settl - Shield your Family With Reverse Cell Phone Number Search
Free reverse cell phone number searches is a great method that can help you in making certain that y - Sony Ericsson K610i: a Delight for Shutterbugs
Over the years camera phones have evolved. From being an add-on into the mobile phone, it has now be