Sport Compact Not Fast Or Furious? Here's The Souped-up Recipe
- Date: 2007-04-13 - Word Count: 448
Share This!
Dear Misanthropic Mike,
My bros and I just finished a speed-filled marathon of The Fast and the Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious and Tokyo Drift. I gotta tell ya' Mike; we're totally geeked-up! I'm chomping at the bit to get my tuner tuned-up and race ready. Where do I get started? Andy Lupa, Chino Hills, CA
Andy,
Alright you little puke; get started by driving that go-kart of yours off a cliff. My hate and distaste for crappy little cars is known far and wide. Not to mention my hate and distaste for movies about crappy little cars. But, since you asked nicely, I'll squeeze an answer out for you.
First, you need some open spoke wheels to high-light those rear brake drums. Then, get a wing-a big one-and mount that baby to your deck lid. OK so far? Drink a bunch of Folgers coffee and attach the empty can to your exhaust tip. Now, fire that baby up and go racing for pinks down at the local boulevard.
Seriously Andy, if you're hell-bent on making a slow car go fast, or at least less slow, you gotta get a programmer. There are a lot of 'em out there; brands like Jet, Unichip and Venom cater to the baby-tuner market. Plug that chip in and watch your horsepower and torque go through the roof.
Then, you need an intake. That little whiz-banger needs air, the more the better. If you can get those tiny lungs a breathin', you can get that tiny car a movin'. Look to the big boys for air: K&N, AEM and Injen make cold air kits designed to resuscitate that itty-bitty wind-up toy you call a motor.
OK, you got the air in; now you gotta get the air out, genius. I have one word for ya' Andy-exhaust. Performance exhaust kits are plentiful for little cars. But, don't feel pressured into the "exhaust-envy" mentality of "my tip is bigger that your tip." FYI, my souped-up diesel rig sports a gargantuan exhaust tip that's guaranteed to make your compact blush.
What's next? Stopping safely. As touched on earlier, some compacts are equipped with drum brakes. That's right-drums-as in century-old technology. Swap 'em out for a disc conversion kit. And while you're at it, swap those baby discs on the front for some performance stoppers. SSBC is a great company for such a set-up.
There you go Andy, your own little baby hot-rod. I gotta warn you though, when your rearview mirror is filled with billet aluminum and you hear the angry rumble of my diesel rig, just pull aside. There's no amount of bolt-on power to get you and your little pedal car out of the way quick enough.
My bros and I just finished a speed-filled marathon of The Fast and the Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious and Tokyo Drift. I gotta tell ya' Mike; we're totally geeked-up! I'm chomping at the bit to get my tuner tuned-up and race ready. Where do I get started? Andy Lupa, Chino Hills, CA
Andy,
Alright you little puke; get started by driving that go-kart of yours off a cliff. My hate and distaste for crappy little cars is known far and wide. Not to mention my hate and distaste for movies about crappy little cars. But, since you asked nicely, I'll squeeze an answer out for you.
First, you need some open spoke wheels to high-light those rear brake drums. Then, get a wing-a big one-and mount that baby to your deck lid. OK so far? Drink a bunch of Folgers coffee and attach the empty can to your exhaust tip. Now, fire that baby up and go racing for pinks down at the local boulevard.
Seriously Andy, if you're hell-bent on making a slow car go fast, or at least less slow, you gotta get a programmer. There are a lot of 'em out there; brands like Jet, Unichip and Venom cater to the baby-tuner market. Plug that chip in and watch your horsepower and torque go through the roof.
Then, you need an intake. That little whiz-banger needs air, the more the better. If you can get those tiny lungs a breathin', you can get that tiny car a movin'. Look to the big boys for air: K&N, AEM and Injen make cold air kits designed to resuscitate that itty-bitty wind-up toy you call a motor.
OK, you got the air in; now you gotta get the air out, genius. I have one word for ya' Andy-exhaust. Performance exhaust kits are plentiful for little cars. But, don't feel pressured into the "exhaust-envy" mentality of "my tip is bigger that your tip." FYI, my souped-up diesel rig sports a gargantuan exhaust tip that's guaranteed to make your compact blush.
What's next? Stopping safely. As touched on earlier, some compacts are equipped with drum brakes. That's right-drums-as in century-old technology. Swap 'em out for a disc conversion kit. And while you're at it, swap those baby discs on the front for some performance stoppers. SSBC is a great company for such a set-up.
There you go Andy, your own little baby hot-rod. I gotta warn you though, when your rearview mirror is filled with billet aluminum and you hear the angry rumble of my diesel rig, just pull aside. There's no amount of bolt-on power to get you and your little pedal car out of the way quick enough.
Related Tags: cold air intake, performance brakes, big brake kits, power programmers, ssbc brakes, injen intakes, jet performance chips
You heard it straight from the filthy mouth of the world's angriest auto mechanic, Misanthropic Mike. Despite Mike's hatred and dismay, sport compact tuning is alive and well. Check out SSBC, Jet Performance and Injen Intakes to put some extra sport in your sport compact. - Mike Smith Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles
Recent articles in this category:
- Improve the Value of Your Truck With a Truck Bed Cover
If you are a truck owner and are looking for a way to increase the value and also protect your inves - An Overview of Emergency Road Services
Anyone that owns a vehicle definitely understands that there are truly countless facets of driving a - Buying From Car and Truck Auctions in Canada
Buying a vehicle from an auction can be a good way to pick up a bargain as long as you know what you - 2011 Green Car Of The Year- Who's In It To Win It!
The Green Car of the Year award is a program designed by Green Car Jouranl to recognize and honor ve - Honda's 2010 Odyssey is Efficient, Practical and Convenient
If you are looking for a minivan that has a seating capacity of up to eight persons and handles almo - Greener Trucks For Delivery Work
Green' is a word you'll hear a lot when it comes to transportation, from bicycles to buses - but you - The Courier and Haute Couture
Some jobs just ooze opportunity to flaunt yourself and show off your latest togs but sadly that's ra - All-New 2011 Toyota Camry
The Toyota Camry has been a continuous leader for years in the family midsize sedan class by being a - The Various Benefits Of Summer Tires
As you probably know , different tires are optimized for different conditions. Not only that, someth - A Couple of Tips on Buying a Used Cars in Toronto
If your old car has finally kicked the bucket and you need to get yourself a new mode of transport t
Most viewed articles in this category:
- How to Remove Window Tint
Applying tinting film to car or household windows may be fun, but removing it can be tricky if yo - Transporting Your Car
If you are relocating to another state or another country for employment or family reasons, you may - Choosing The Right Sticker For The Motorcycle Helmet
When people decide to buy a motorcycle, the dealer will usually throw in a helmet. This is because s - Suzuki's 2007 Xl7, “wave” Grand Vitara Debuts at the 2007 Scias
In the news: American Suzuki Motor Corporation has presented its array of cars and SUVs at the 2007 - Nissan Skyline GTR: A Racer That Is Affordable
If you've ever eyed a Porsche 911 or a Ferrari Testarossa, but thought the price was too steep, the - How To Buy Cheap Cars
There are a number of seized car auctions held in various places every month or at least quarterly. - Federal Agencies Expands Hybrid Fleet
Three federal agencies in Kansas recently added hybrid vehicles to their fleet. The hybrid vehicles - New Cars, New Gadgets Presented at the 2007 Naias
The 2007 North American International Auto Show has become an event of glamour, fashion and technolo - Aura Green Line Added to 3 Federal Fleets in Kansas
Three Kansas City area federal agencies added Monday the new 2007 Saturn Aura Green Line hybrid vehi - Top Vehicles by Autoweek Editors Honored at 2007 Naias
Everybody has favorites. Bill may like Ford cars. Susan may be attracted much by the power of pi