Pregnancy and childbirth! One word....OUCH! If you are pregnant and expecting your first child don't believe anyone that says it won't hurt it will. But there is an upside. There is a point in labour when the pain is actually enjoyable. Hard to believe maybe but I do speak from experience:

I have gone through labour twice now. The first one was very scary as I was 19 embarking on a life of being a single parent and the birth was an emergency caesarean. The c-section section was carried out because the baby was in the breach position and during labour the babies' heart beat stopped, so I was told I had to have a c-section. It seemed like madness as doctors and nurses were rushing around frantically. I was told that there was a bit of a waiting list and that I was 4th in line and that they take 15 minutes each. But because of the waiting list he should be able to work faster to do one in 12 minutes. Please can I sign here! After signing the paper I was then told to sit up so they could administrate an epidural but I couldn't stay still for long enough and as I had been in labour all night I was exhausted so I asked them to put me to sleep. That was fine but they couldn't put me to sleep until I was in the operating theatre! Another 45 minutes later my son was born although I did not really see him for another 6 hours as I slept.

I remember waking up in some pain and thinking oh know not again, thinking the pain was a contraction. It was only when I realised there was a baby in an incubator next to me that I realised it was not a contraction at all. The pain was just the after pain and when I realised it was not getting any worse I felt a lot better. I laid there looking at the cot wondering if the baby was a boy or a girl. After 10 minutes of day dreaming a nurse came in and asked if I was breast feeding the baby, I said I wanted to try so she got the baby out and put him straight on my breast. I asked the nurse what sex the baby was and I was told it was a boy. As I was looking down at him while the nurse was busy trying to get the baby to get a suck on my nipple I wondered why the baby was dark skinned. I was in a bit of a panic as I new there was no chance my son could be born black. It really scarred me for a while and the nurse didn't reassure me, in fact she just carried on trying to get the baby to latch on to my breast. I got the impression that to her I was just another stupid teenager embarking on motherhood. Well I was a very scared teenager embarking on motherhood with very little support.

Other nurses were kinder and more of a help but at the end of the day I was the babies mother and he was my responsibility. After a week I took him home and spent the next 15 years devoted to him. He is nearly 16 now and is a wonderful, special, polite, well mannered, kind, giving, helpful boy and a credit to society. If only more young lads were like him the world would be a better place.

My second labour was a lot less painful and it was almost enjoyable. I was 26 and had a partner who was with me during labour. There was just a midwife on standby doing a crossword. It was a very relaxed environment and very strange to me as I thought having lots of doctors in and out was the norm. A few hours later I managed to push out son number two, the last push was enjoyable, almost like an itch being scratched. I was again a little shocked at how he looked as my first son didn't have to go through the trauma of a natural birth so he looked perfect. Son number two came out screaming and I thought he looked like a little ugly monkey. As soon as the baby was born the father left me too it, a sign of things to come I now know, and I struggled to walk to the shower room and shower myself. Just under 2 years later1 week before my youngest sons second birthday I was on my own again. It was very devastating at the time and I struggled for a while. But I can honestly say apart from the birth of my children, my ex leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. It is so much easier bringing up children on your own. Obviously ideally a child should have a mother a father but in today's society that is not always possible. With my experience you can do a better job on your own and your children turn out a lot better than some children brought up in a mum dad environment.

But does it hurt, well yes. But it is well worth it, yes. Should you go ahead and have a child? I believe everyone should experience having a child, there is nothing like the unconditional love from a child. If you're on you own, don't let that put you off, it is all the more rewarding and if you bring your children up right they will stay your best friend for ever.

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Carolyn Clayton is a webmaster who writes about a number of topics including Pregnancy and Childbirth.
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