When Is Touching Flirting?


by Andrea Morris - Date: 2007-02-23 - Word Count: 704 Share This!

How To Know When Touching May Be Flirting

The signals of flirting can be very subtle and confusing at times. How do you know when touching is flirting, or just a casual or accident brush with someone? The signs such as a light touch, leaning close to you, or an engaging smile can be difficult to understand at times.

Some people touch just because they are naturally friendly, outgoing, touchy sort of people. That makes decoding these smoky signals trickier than ever. And when it comes to touching, flirting and just plain good buddy friendliness the line can seem pretty blurry. So here are a few guidelines to help you figure out if that special touch that makes you tingle all over is flirting, or just a friendly pat on the back.

There are many people in the world that are prone to be outgoing, and touch is part of their normal interactions with others. It is often hard to know if touching is flirting unless you know the person well. Sometime guidelines can help you understand if that brush with someone is really flirting or just a meaningless moment in time.

How Often and What Else

If you often find yourself in close contact with another person and your bodies are all the time "accidentally" brushing against each other it is very likely this is no real accident. You can assume that any regular touching is likely flirting unless it is something the person does with everyone else.

The other sign that that brush up against your arm was no casual mistake is to watch the rest of his behavior. Does he laugh at your jokes? Act more chatty, or quieter than usual around you? If your interest is a girl, watch her body language for things like leaning in to talk to you, facing her whole body towards you, and the classic head tilt and look away. Guys use a lot of playful touch in their flirting: tugging on your hair, poking and bumping. That's right, think back to grade school. The same types of flirting are still going on!

What else was going on? Do they show other signs of interest in you? Are they more talkative or animated in your presence than is normally the case? Do they laugh at your jokes, even the bad ones? Men often use a lot of playful touching such as bumping you or stroking your hair. Girls will often lean in close to you and tilt their heads or make shy looks. Not much has changed since we were kids, it's the same old game just a little more subtle most of the time.

Do They Look For Opportunities to Touch?

When someone is really interested in another person they will often look for any excuse to talk with you and make physical contact in some way. If you touch someone and they respond in a similar manner it is almost certainly flirting. If they appear uncomfortable or withdraw from your touch then things are not looking so good.

Pay Attention To The Signs

Make it a habit to start watching the behavior of people you aren't interested in. You will start to observe flirting behavior whether it is through touching, body language, nerves or actions. And once you can determine flirting behavior by watching other people interact, you will be much better able to know if it is the real thing when it happens to you.

In addition to touching, see if they follow your lead. If you lean into talk does he/she lean towards you, or away? If you touch them on the arm, how does they respond? When most people really like someone, they will signal with body language, even if they are not yet comfortable with actually touching. Don't give up easily. Many people are not very good at flirting. The more attention they pay to you, the more likely it is that they are interested.

There are many subtle signs of flirting and the passing casual touch is one of the most encouraging signs that something is really going on between you. Hopefully these tips will help you decide if touching is really flirting and give you the courage to respond in kind if you are interested in the person. Have fun!


Related Tags: men, women, dating, date, flirting, flirt

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