Forgive To Live: Free Yourself of Emotional Baggage
If you look up the word 'forgive' in the dictionary, one of the definitions you'll find is: to cease to feel resentment against. Forgiving, ceasing to feel resentment against, someone or something benefits who? You. Forgiving benefits YOU.
Forgiving, ceasing to feel resentment against,that's all about you, not them. Granted, they might also benefit if you no longer feel resentment toward them, but the change occurs within YOU when you forgive another, not the reverse. The decision to forgive is yours. The act of forgiving is an act YOU undertake, and the feelings changing as a result are yours, as well.
For a very long time, I was unwilling to forgive certain people in my life. I held close the feelings of anger and resentment over how they had betrayed me and wore them like a protective shield. I vowed no one would EVER hurt me like that again. Over time, my protective shield began to prevent me from connecting with new people, new friendships and extending my friendship to others. Ultimately, who did this hurt? Me. I had unknowingly allowed my unwillingness to forgive to control and shape my life - and not in a positive way, I might add.
Today I look at forgiveness as a way to set down the emotional baggage of past hurts and walk away stronger than before. If you think about it - how can you receive the blessings of today if your hands are holding tightly to resentments of yesterday? You can't go back and change what happened or force the offender to make amends, but you CAN decide to live a happy life.
The person I'm forgiving may or may not even know of my forgiveness - that is not the point. I am the one miserable with my negative feelings and emotions - not them. They may or may not even know I'm harboring resentments. Meanwhile, I'm seething and miserable. By forgiving, I set myself free.
If the whole idea of forgiving feels beyond you at the moment, either because you are still too angry and upset (and likely wanting your pound of flesh) or because forgiving still feels to you like you're saying, "Oh, it's ok..." then try replacing the word 'forgive' with the words 'cease to feel resentment against' and see if that makes a difference for you. "I cease to feel resentment against you for what you did," might be a more empowering way for you to say, "I forgive you for what you did."
Related Tags: relationships, healing, forgiveness, forgive, empowering, forgiving, how to forgive, power of forgiv
Suzanne Bird-Harris is an accomplished writer, trainer and coach with more than 20 years experience assisting women in stealing back their thunder by shortening their learning curves in life. Steal YOUR thunder back by registering for her FREE newlsetter (a $257 value) at http://www.LearningCurveCoaching.com You'll also receive the 7 emails that created such a stir for women this past December. Look for them in your inbox beginning today when you register!
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