Step-Family Preparation: What is It, Anyway? (Part 2)


by Alyssa Johnson - Date: 2006-12-04 - Word Count: 385 Share This!

As you will recall, I mentioned in the first part of this series that I like to define step-family preparation as a journey that begins at the time of divorce or death and carries you all the way to the point of remarriage. This journey has 6 main paths that must be walked. The first path is to evaluate who you are now that you aren't married.

There are many changes both internal and external that occur once you are no longer a part of a marriage unit. Common questions to be asked are: "Who am I now that I am separate?" "What do I like about myself?" "What do I want to change?" This should be a time of reflection and growth to become a healthier single individual. These steps need to be taken before you begin dating. If not, you will probably find yourself with someone like or ex-spouse, or a relationship that ends up looking an awful lot like your previous marriage. This is your time to figure out who YOU are.

You will also have new responsibilities and roles to adjust to at this time. Some of them may seem overwhelming, such as maintaining a household and rearing children alone. You no longer have another person to help manage this load, or to blame for not pulling their weight. It's all up to you. The kids are counting on just you when they are at your house. Some of these new roles may end up helping you to feel more capable and confident because you didn't know you had it in you to excel at them. Maybe you never had the chance to decorate your house in a way that you liked. Maybe you didn't have the time to do special activities with your kids that you always wanted to. Now is the time to discover things such as these.

A lot of people make the mistake of fearing this "in between" time and they rush right into another relationship. This time is uncomfortable, but it really is necessary. You need to deal with your emotions and move past them so they don't interfere with your next relationship. Give yourself the gift of time. Don't be so afraid of being alone that you rush into something that's not good for you or your children.


Related Tags: children, family, divorce, growth, preparation, step-family, blended family, remarriage

Visit http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com for more information on how to prepare as a couple and a family for remarriage. Subscribe today to the Remarriage Success Tips E-Zine at http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com/e-zine.htm for more helpful articles to guide you on your step-family preparation journey. Alyssa Johnson, MSW, LCSW is the founder and CEO of Remarriage Success. She may be reached through her website at http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com

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