How Do You Define Happiness

by Julia Solomon - Date: 2008-09-21 - Word Count: 540 Share This!

Of course it sounds like a ridiculous question! How could anyone possibly not know what the word 'happiness' means?! The fact of the matter, though, is that many people have never really thought about it-- and, if you are reading this book, you and your spouse may not even know if you both have the same definitions!

As an individual, and as a married couple, you want happiness! As an individual, and as a married couple, you deserve it! Fortunately, it is one of those elusive subjects which, with a little careful thought and consideration, can become very clear-- and when what happiness means to you is clear to you, you will then be in the best position to claim this wonderful, life-affirming quality for yourselves!

If you and your spouse are like most average American adults, when the question is posed to you "What does the word 'happiness' mean to you?" you will probably not have a quick answer. Perhaps you have never put much thought into it, assuming that happiness is something which is either "there" or not. The only problem with this is that in order to attain and maintain happiness, you must first have some ideas as to what it means to you.

There are a number of ways to look at this subject. Some people define happiness in terms of something external, others in terms of the internal, and still others in terms of acceptance.

It is not as complicated as it may sound! The key is in realizing your own personal definition, and, in order to greatly enhance your marriage, "compare notes" with your spouse!

Those who view happiness in external terms are generally those who are the most driven. These folks see happiness as being the result of what they do, have, and accomplish. This type of person is happy, for example, when he has earned a great job promotion through hard work, has purchased a brand-new car, or is taking the family on a two-week vacation. His ability to be happy is directly influenced and affected by what is around him.

The person who finds happiness from an internal source is usually the type of person who is calm, rational, and content. He is the person who cares more about who he is rather than what he has or does, and sees other people in the same manner.

The people who define happiness in terms of acceptance are sometimes mislabeled as settled, unmotivated, or boring. While this kind of person is fully capable of dealing with whatever comes his way, and is as effective at doing so as anyone else, his general outlook involves not wishing to make waves, taking things as they are, and not liking any type of radical change unless it is necessary.

While these three types of people are different from each other and approach life much differently, it is nothing more than basic personality-traits. The good news is that even those who are married to someone who possesses a different style can have a happy, harmonious marriage. All it really takes is understanding your own personal "happiness style" and being aware of and respecting your spouse's! With that in mind, happiness can be yours-- for a lifetime!

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