Breakups are no fun, not for anybody. No matter who you are, going through a breakup is painful and stressful...but even when the chips are down and it seems like life is practically meaningless anymore, don't go to pieces! You CAN get your life back together and learn how to get your ex back, and I can help you do it!

I've assembled all of the little things (and some not-so-little) involved in figuring out how to get your ex back into a simplistic 3-step program that groups the processes into three separate stages. With this plan, it becomes very possible indeed to turn your life around and get your ex back.

Stage 1 - Cut Off Contact: I know it seems like the last thing you'd want to do, but in truth the smartest and best move directly after a breakup is to sever your ties with your ex and just give him/her some space to breathe and time to think. Pushing him/her too much right now isn't going to help you much, and you have enough to worry about on the home front.

Relationships always end because one person just wasn't getting what he/she needed out of the partnership, and it got so desperate that he/she had to go looking for it elsewhere. It's harsh I know, but if you're the one who got left it means that there was something you were falling short on, or something specific you were doing wrong. Your goal right now is to figure out exactly what that was, and make whatever compromises or sacrifices you have to in order to eliminate that issue. It seems like an awful lot, but it's the only way to truly fix the problems between you two.

Stage 2 - Rebuild Contact: Figuring out and fixing all the problems you're responsible for in the relationship can take a while, so most of the time once that's all taken care of or at least well-started, enough time has passed so that you can contact your ex again. Keep this first one light and nonaggressive...a phone call or email is good, and get no more personal than "how have you been?" "Nonthreatening" is the word here.

If the first contact went well, it should be safe to continue to slowly build up contact once more, taking it step by step at a nonaggressive pace. Once you get to the point that you're spending time together, make it a point to do things together that you always enjoyed as a couple. The great memories combined with the work you've been doing on yourself can really open your ex up to the idea of getting back together. Indeed, sometimes your ex will bring it up him/herself!

Stage 3 - Maintenance: Chances are good that you two will get back together, no problem. The compromises and sacrifices you've made should really smooth things out, but it's vital that you not let yourself fall back into your old ways. If you do, it'll end just like it did the first time, and you may not be able to salvage it again.

When using this 3-step plan, remember that it's very passive-based. If at all possible, you should never have to broach the subject of getting back together as your ex should come to want that on his/her own. Pursuing a reunion too aggressively hurts your chances more than it helps, so always try to do your most determined and proactive work on yourself, and just focus on letting your ex see it and come to his/her own choices.