Love's Labour Lost!

by Michael Douglas - Date: 2006-12-11 - Word Count: 598 Share This!

The fear of rejection or experiencing rejection in love can inhibit many individuals from having complete and fulfilling relationships. There are several reasons why one could fear rejection and opt to be alone. Read on to get an understanding of why an individual develops such a phobia and how to overcome those feelings:


Attachment: One reason why you might fear rejection is when you become very attached to another person. When this happens, people often associate all their joy with that one person. So it is but natural that you are afraid of losing this individual. Very deep attachment could cause fear of loss and rejection.

Desire: The more you want a person to approve of you, the more sensitive you become to their likes and dislikes. Often people will do anything to gain approval from the person they desire. This person could be a love interest or even a family member or friend. When you seek so much approval from someone and they are not sensitive to your feelings, it could trigger a sense of feeling rejected.

One Love: Many people live life thinking that there is only one true love and when they lose that person, they feel the world has ended. This idea of believing that there is only one person in this world for you can be unhealthy. If you lose that one person who you thought of as a soul mate you might feel rejection and never want to experience such feelings again, thereby missing out on many great opportunities.


To fear rejection is okay and there are ways to deal wit the fear. The following are a few ways you can cope with your fear:

Follow the self-selecting rule: Be the person you really want and tell others your true inner feelings and thoughts more assertively. Even though you may fear that others may not like who you really are and reject you, that is good. Being open separates those people, who are right for closer relationships from those who are not. If you present yourself honestly and openly from the beginning, you will attract the right kind of people much faster. Most people prefer honesty and the self-love and self-confidence that openness reveals, so you may be more appealing to more people.

Don't expect: Another good way to deal with the fear of rejection is to pay attention to your own words and actions rather then somebody else's. Just because you are sensitive to other people's feelings don't expect the same from them. Many times you might be disappointed in another person's reaction to you, but don't take it personally and don't become bitter. Just continue to be yourself and surely enough you will reap the benefits.

People friendly: People who fear rejection find it very hard to approach someone they like. Try to increase your levels of confidence and don't approach someone thinking he/she is probably going to say no anyway. Be positive. Then your vibe will also radiate good positive energy which is hard to resist and this could overcome a lot of inhibitions you are facing in going for any other relationship.

Romance: Often individuals do not express themselves romantically because they fear what their partner might think. This is especially the case with someone who is afraid of being judged or rejected. If your partner is someone who feels insecure and is afraid of rejection, you need to take matter into your own hands. Make your partner understand that he or she has nothing to fear and plan a romantic evening. A candle-lit dinner is the surest way to express your concern.

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Michael Douglas is an author, relationship expert and a webmaster of, where he provides free relationship advice and love advice to help couples in building healthy and successful relationships.

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