You, Your Newborn, Your Partner and Your Emotional Rollercoaster
- Date: 2006-12-05 - Word Count: 501
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Your first meeting with your baby has a power that moves mountains, it will define the first step in the process of bonding and you will never forget it. Especially if the delivery was natural, he won't be the cute little thing of diaper ads, she will be all wrinkled like a very old lady, his head will be pointed or weird shaped, she might be all red or has spots, he might have hair that doesn't come with your genetic inheritance. Your baby has come out from a very stressful experience, if you felt bad, can you imagine the pain and fear he went through? If you are like 99% of the mothers, it doesn't matter your circumstance, you will love her in a way that you never thought you could.
The emotional rollercoaster you are getting into is just about to start, and you need to be as prepared as you can. There is a difference between reading and living; but if you know what to expect, you are going to be able to separate your own emotional comings and goings from your mama bear instinct; it is very important for you and your baby's health and well being that you manage to do it.
Why? Let me tell you something that you might already know, or maybe not: when you have a problem, that problem looks for a way to express itself and you start feeling physically bad and even get sick. I am quite sure that almost everybody got that part. But there is still the counterpart of this situation. When you feel physically out of balance for any reason, for example because of being sleep deprived, or hormonal mess up (remember PMS?) you might look for and find an emotional problem to guilt for the way you are feeling. You are going to start creating problems that didn't exist before, or were not so important. You need to put a good deal of effort in separating the emotional mess that comes from physical discomfort, from your real emotional situations from now on. This is in the root of most of the problems related with baby's blues and issues with your partner during the adaptation process with your baby; the relation with your baby is so incredibly strong, that your emotional problems can harm him. About your partner... like most men can't read our mind or our emotional map, the relationship can be damaged and your invented problems will become very real.
So, lay low. Read as much as you can, prepare yourself for the marathon of the first year of your baby; and if you feel that your partner is not doing enough, think it twice before releasing the dogs on him. Try to find a way to talk about what you need from him instead of blaming him for not doing it. Make him your knight in shiny armor and you, him and your baby will be buying tickets to a happy life together.
The emotional rollercoaster you are getting into is just about to start, and you need to be as prepared as you can. There is a difference between reading and living; but if you know what to expect, you are going to be able to separate your own emotional comings and goings from your mama bear instinct; it is very important for you and your baby's health and well being that you manage to do it.
Why? Let me tell you something that you might already know, or maybe not: when you have a problem, that problem looks for a way to express itself and you start feeling physically bad and even get sick. I am quite sure that almost everybody got that part. But there is still the counterpart of this situation. When you feel physically out of balance for any reason, for example because of being sleep deprived, or hormonal mess up (remember PMS?) you might look for and find an emotional problem to guilt for the way you are feeling. You are going to start creating problems that didn't exist before, or were not so important. You need to put a good deal of effort in separating the emotional mess that comes from physical discomfort, from your real emotional situations from now on. This is in the root of most of the problems related with baby's blues and issues with your partner during the adaptation process with your baby; the relation with your baby is so incredibly strong, that your emotional problems can harm him. About your partner... like most men can't read our mind or our emotional map, the relationship can be damaged and your invented problems will become very real.
So, lay low. Read as much as you can, prepare yourself for the marathon of the first year of your baby; and if you feel that your partner is not doing enough, think it twice before releasing the dogs on him. Try to find a way to talk about what you need from him instead of blaming him for not doing it. Make him your knight in shiny armor and you, him and your baby will be buying tickets to a happy life together.
Related Tags: pregnancy, baby gifts, baby health, baby, baby shower, newborn, baby blues, baby baskets, baby nam
Sandy Martinez is a writer and thinker, and the owner of WombWhispers.com where you can find some of her writings, plus very useful info and tips. When the biological clock started to tick, she traded her phd for diapers; but never lost the inquisitive mind and need to know more. As a result, she changed the area of research from Theoretical Physics to Babies, putting the accent in their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health and well being as a whole.
Recommended readings:
Your New Baby. Complete first year guide.
For more information visit Womb Whispers.
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