How do you look at the unwanted stuff in your life? The unsatisfying relationship, the traffic jams, the ever decreasing amount in your bank account, the extra 10 pounds you put on since last year, the crazy boss, the rude cashier, the whiney kid, the endlessly barking neighborhood dog or perhaps the big blob of toothpaste you dropped on your shirt as you were getting ready this morning? Did anything happen today or yesterday that agitated you?

Did noticing it rile you up a bit? Did you do a little rant about your mate, your boss, or the morning commute when you got to work? Did everyone share and compare their stories; some with a great deal of flare or humor?

Did you share yours or simply stew on it all morning until something else distracted you?

Focusing on the unwanted stuff is a pretty normal response in our society. We have been well trained to observe what is, focus on what is, talk about what is and even stew on what is. Let's face it; telling a funny anecdote about the lousy traffic; the mate who never cleans up, the boss or the co-worker that "doesn't have a clue"; gets us lots of attention.

We are a society that takes a perverse pleasure in talking about what's going wrong. Sitcoms, dramas and reality TV all count on you loving to focus on the bad staff. And let's face it, none of us sits down to watch the evening news to see all of the good stuff that's going on in our community and the world around us.

So what do you do if you'd like things to be different? Let's say for instance that you want a better relationship, you want the neighborhood dog to stop barking, you want to manage not to spill coffee or orange juice on your blouse in the morning, you want your boss to appreciate your efforts or you want your mom to quit nagging you.

Well, it might be hard to hear but Step 1 is; Stop Talking About It! Stop spending your energy focusing on things you don't want. Stop trying to get the laugh or the sympathy. And Step 2 is; Flip the Unwanted Experience Around and make lists of what you do want instead. ie: the unhealthy relationship turns into - I want a healthy relationship, the daily glob of toothpaste on your shirt could become I want to be relaxed in the morning so I can be peaceful as I get ready, the aching back as you get out of bed could become, I want to be aware of what I can incorporate into my day so my back begins to get stronger. And as often as you can, practice focusing on what you want and where you want to go.

Having unwanted stuff in your life is a wonderful thing because if you're willing to look at it for a second or two it will tell you plainly what you do want. When you focus more on what you do want and less on what you don't want; what you do want has to come to you. It's a universal law and this is a really easy and practical way to apply it.