Not Great with Plants
Everything else, however, lasts about a week before it shrivels up into a dead, brown, unrecognizable mess that slowly drops bits of itself onto my floors. There's a patch of lawn out front that has not had grass growing on it for ten years. I keep putting grass there: seeds, sod, fertilizer. It grows for a week and then starts to die. It saves a little money, though; dirt doesn't need much water.
I finally discovered that some types of palms would grow in my yard quite well. In fact, the less attention I pay to them the better they seem to do. (I had some fish like that once.) Anyway, you can probably imagine what my yard is like - lots of these palms; not much else. Luckily I like them, but even if I didn't … you know, they grow.
Indoor plants are different. You actually have to pay some attention to them at some time. And that is where the system breaks down. Generally, I get around to paying them some attention when I find myself cleaning up all the dropped leaves. As far as I can tell, apparently, it is too late by then. In fact, fussing over them at that point seems to hasten their demise.
I like to think all my plants are not really dead when I put them in the trash, and that they may be resurrected in another place. I imagine a landfill somewhere, dotted with my discarded house plants that, once away from my brown thumb, revived themselves to live long, flowering and happy lives.
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