I have breakfast once a week with a group of individuals with various backgrounds and professions. Since all of them work in or have customer relations, we sometimes get on the subject of the "worst customer I ever had."

You know, the "Screamer" or the "Demander" or various other versions. My friend John and I were talking this morning about Mr. Demanding.

Usually you know when you are talking to Mr. Demanding, as the conversation starts with their expectations and a list of tasks to be completed. In addition the world runs on their time. Does this sound familiar?

Pity the poor customer service professional who does not take the time to really listen and then decide the best course of action with Mr. Demanding. Dr. Covey's principle "Seek first to understand, then to be understood" really needs to be the guiding thought here.

Here is the scenario. A vehicle is brought into the shop for repair. Mr. Demanding recites the list of tasks to be performed and "I need to have the vehicle back this week." He makes no bones about the need for the vehicle and how important it is to him as "time is money and without this vehicle I am losing money."

Our customer service professional can respond in several ways. He can be defensive and say something like "This is not a service we provide. (It actually is) I don't think we can get it back to you in the time requested." Or he can acquiesce and say "Sure, we'll be able to handle that for you (and we'll call you later and let you know that we can't possibly meet the deadline) I'll go ahead and start the paperwork." In either scenario the outcome can only be bad.

The first response is blunt and does not offer a choice. It merely throws up a defensive wall and allows Mr. Demanding to start a siege upon the wall. "Why not, it says you are a full service facility!" he states. "Is your signage wrong?" This exchange can lead only to a further defensive posturing by our intrepid customer service professional. The other response is equally unhelpful. By agreeing to the list presented by Mr. Demanding without clarification and understanding, our customer service professional can only disappoint and escalate the situation by calling later to apologize "for not getting it done" on time.

The key here is to apply the "seek first to understand" principle and then formulate an action plan and statement. It might sound something like this. "Mr. Demanding, you have quite a list there. And I can see that there is a time constraint as well. Let's take a moment and go over the list together and make sure I understand what we are doing for you." Our customer service professional has just done two things. He has reserved his judgment and shifted the focus to the facts. "I can see here that there are several items on your list that may take additional time to complete. If we start on these repairs, and it does take additional time, can you still leave the vehicle with us?" Again, CSP has focused on the facts and given a choice to Mr. Demanding. There may be a further clarification and more action statements and choices. The final key is to confirm everything that has been said and put it in writing. "Just so we are clear Mr. Demanding, I will be completing items 1, 2 and 3. If the repair is going to take longer than this week, I will call you and update you by Weds. Is that how you understand it?" There are 3 major elements in making this work.

1st. Our CSP really listened and understood what Mr. Demanding was saying.

2nd. Our CSP not only listened, he demonstrated that by giving Mr. Demanding an action statement and a choice. By offering choices, it allows Mr. Demanding to structure his schedule and decide the best course of action. Mr. Demanding can then decide if he wants all of the repairs completed or just some of them, and the rest to be completed at a later date.

3rd. Our CSP completed the deal by not only confirming the action, he wrote it down. Documentation beats conversation every time. By documenting our CSP is really demonstrating that he understands Mr. Demanding and his needs while providing the basis for a working relationship that is mutually agreeable.

By the way, John's Mr. Demanding actually turned into Mr. Unhappy and took his business elsewhere, frustrated and angry even after approving the repair process. Proving once again the world is a strange and wonderful place full of strange and wonderful people.