Beware... The Butter


by Barry Rice - Date: 2007-01-29 - Word Count: 495 Share This!

One quiet evening, years ago, while relaxing as my wife was preparing dinner, I overheard my 4-year old daughter ask, "Mommy, can I help?". "Sure, sweetie. Would you please put the butter on the table for Mommy?"

Moments later, the shriek of "EL-RIE!!!!!!" (at her birth, my son could not pronounce Ellen Marie, out came "El-Rie" and it stuck) brought my son and I into the kitchen in a flash.

My wife was bent in laughter. Elrie, with butter-filled knife in hand, perplexed look on her face, was standing beside where she had just painted a pretty picture for Mommy all over the table, in butter, believing she had done exactly what asked. After all, hadn't Mommy asked, "Sweetie, would you please put the butter on the table for Mommy?"

When communicating, be careful what you ask for, be it personal or job-oriented. Certainly, communication with children is one thing. Communication with others requires awareness, an unassuming acceptance of their point of view, a non-finger pointing attitude and a certain willingness to be self-effacing.

Understanding the communication process is vital to achieving, and living, your definition of success. Ineffective communication can cause our loved ones, business associates, and friends to become frustrated, possibly offended, and conflict can occur - and, nothing is accomplished.

When communicating with others, it may be tempting to point the finger at others for not understanding your instructions and/or your viewpoint. The problem with this mind-set is that it will not achieve your result of having the other person understand what you are attempting to convey. Taking responsibility for effective communication with others frees you to take the action steps to achieve the result(s) you are seeking.

In face-to-face communication with someone, do not make the mistake of assuming that you are making yourself understandable. If you pay close attention, you will pick up on clues as to whether the other person understands you and your point of view. Do they display a confused look? Are they unusually silent? If you ask them if they have any questions, do they answer with an indecisive "No"? These are all understated responses that the person may not be sure of what you just said. Don't hesitate to ask questions to determine their understanding.

When communicating with others, he/she who has the most
flexibility and willingness to listen, and understand, will get their point of view across.

Obviously, all folks will not understand you in the same way. Some people may understand things better when they see the things communicated actually in action. Others will understand when they hear them, others when THEY take action on the communication or, still, others when they "feel" the communication.

Take the time to understand your communication skills. Maybe even ask someone close to you for an evaluation of your communication skills. Effective communication is a learned skill, and, you CAN learn it.

If you do not communicate effectively, you may well end up with butter on your table.

Related Tags: success, goal setting, motivation, communicate, inspiration, goals, goal, motivate, commmunication

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