Should You Seek Pre-Marital Counseling?
Ninety percent of Americans marry, but fifty percent of those marriages end in divorce. In fact, the average marriage in California lasts just seven years. Seventy-five percent of those who divorce, remarry, but sixty-five percent of those marriages also end in divorce.
It is easy to say that you won't ever divorce, but as Dirty Harry said, "do you feel lucky?" In contrast to the hours and hours of work that a wedding takes to make it successful, taking 4-6 hours to look at your relationship and improve it's odds of succeeding, is time well spent.
Here are a few things to expect when you go into pre-marital counseling:
• The counselor will not pass judgment on your relationship. It is the conclusions that the couple comes to that are important.
• We will look at how well your communication with each other works. Notice that I said "works". There isn't a good style or bad style, but just whether communication strengthens the relationship.
• Discussing the values you both have is crucial to marital success. This means looking at what is important, and often comes down to what each person sees as right or wrong. An awareness of any differences can lead to greater acceptance of each other.
• If you aren't yet married, but already disagree or haven't talked about, issues related to money, children, religion, work, sex or a host of other things, now is the time to learn how to address differences. Compromise will be the most important strategy in working through these issues as the relationship continues forward.
Related Tags: success, love, marriage, relationship, communication, divorce, counseling, improve, odds, married
Steve Thayer is a California State Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Certified Financial Planner™, and co-owner of http://www.MyVitalFiles.com, a Home Filing Solutions Company. He has written articles for various publications for 30 years, and besides working in counseling and financial consulting, his goal is to help make life less tedious and more fulfilling for people by developing paperwork filing solutions.
You may contact him at http://www.MyVitalFiles.com and steve@MyVitalFiles.com.
© Steve Thayer 2007 All rights Reserved - May not be copied or distributed without the author's permission.
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