Parenting Pitfalls - The Two Critical Turning Points of Childhood
What are the most frustrating years of being a parent? An overwhelming consensus of parents believe it is when children are two, and then around fourteen.
Neuroscience now gives solid validation that something striking is happening during these times. It all comes down to brain-wiring.
Virtually overnight, around age two, the first significant change appears when a child recognizes that he or she is an individual with a separate identity. At this point, children begin to assert their individuality with the common "me, my, mine" statements. This indicates the early stages of the formation of the conscious mind, and burgeoning neural network.
Taking about five years to fully form, the conscious mind is learning to protect the highly suggestible subconscious mind. Until this critical survival faculty is firmly in place, everything seen, heard, and witnessed has unfettered access to the subconscious.
Harmless statements to a child such as "You're so messy" or "Why can't you be more like your sister?" are in reality, potentially damaging suggestions that are conveyed directly to the child's subconscious mind. Experience indicates that most issues adults present in therapy sessions are related to the core belief patterns established before the age of seven.
The next significant metamorphosis takes place around age fourteen. The teenage brain begins the second transformation in wiring, which accounts for typical adolescent impulsiveness, defiance, lack of organizational skills, and narcissism. At this stage, the brain lacks the neural wiring to effectively moderate behavior and emotional responses. Frequently sparking turmoil, the teenage brain is preparing that individual for autonomy by testing limits, building skills, and encouraging individual initiative.
A parent's most important role during this stage is to provide children with a secure, loving environment while allowing events to unfold. Rather than reacting, parents need to recognize that these events and struggles are preparing children for life in the real world.
Here are some helpful tips for parents to express unconditional love and acceptance to their child:
In discussion, look them in the eyes, at eye level, not down at them. Focus more on their feelings, challenges, and needs, rather than their behaviors.
Demonstrate that you value their uniqueness and independence. Support their drive to expand their confidence and social skills. Take a deep breath, and think before you speak. Your words have a lasting impact.
Cherish the journey of parenthood. It's the most responsible job on the planet.
Related Tags: brain, children, family, communication, discipline, confidence, behavior, unconditional love, terrible twos
International speaker, Dr. Brian E. Walsh is the author of the bestseller Unleashing Your Brilliance and has also co-authored with John Gray and Jack Canfield the self-help book, 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2. Find out more here.
Your Article Search Directory : Find in ArticlesRecent articles in this category:
- The Resurgence of Fred Perry Clothing
Summer might long be over and Wimbledon may be a distant memory, however the fashion is a year round - Uncovering Men's Tank Tops
I don't know a thing about you, but I'll bet that you have worn a tank top. Tank tops have also been - Make Use of Silk Scarves to Take Good Care of Your Skin
In the event you are new about silk scarves, you could never read about this particular feature of s - Just For Men Scarves - the Preference For Guys in the Vogue Domain
If you are not certain what style of present you could provide for men, maybe you can consider men s - Think Black Friday Shopping is Beyond Your Budget?
Moms who are juggling the bills and still trying to provide the perfect holiday gift to loved ones a - How to Make Conscious Shopping Choices
Many people have heard the phrase "voting with your dollars" and they understand that it means your - Silk Scarves - Unique Present Approach in Xmas Seasons
The most prevalent silk add-on is scarves, and many focus is presented on inspired designing on thes - Benefits of an Aloe Vera Shampoo
A lot of people are not aware of the specific benefits that using an aloe vera shampoo can do to the - How Effective is the Power of Your Subconscious Mind?
Most people are bombarded with this thought whenever they feel weak and wish to affect certain chang - Silk Scarf - the Record For Human Being in the Style History
Throughout the 19th and 20th centuries the worldwide recognition of silk scarves developed dramatica
Most viewed articles in this category:
- Surf and Turf: the Race Track
Surf and Turf: The Race TrackOne of the favorite places for The G to hang out at, especially in Summ - Are You Looking For Cholesterol Drugs Without Side Effect?
High cholesterol level is probably one of the widely spread complication among Americans. Almost for - Friday the 13th could be a lucky day?
Friday the 13th sounds unlucky ? Traditional superstition ? And a lot of people dislike it and beli - Don't Judge A Man
Our world is full of bad tongues, fault-finders, gossipers, mockers, and insulters but do these grou - When Personalized Gifts Make a Difference
Finding the right gifts for a particular occasion is always a challenging task. Sometimes it is nic - Managing My Resistance: Learning To Flow With What Life Offers
One of the things that interests me most about conflict is the tendency to resist it and the ways in - What Are Horoscopes Based On?
If you do not know much about astrology, you may wonder what are horoscopes based on and how astrolo - 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make
We often find ourselves amid the wreckage of a love gone wrong, wringing our hands and asking, "Why - Motivation as the heart of self improvement
You should be able to find several indispensable facts about Motivation in the following paragraphs - Is Complete Abstinence from Use of Paychoactive Substances Necessary for Recovery?
Can a sober alcoholic in recovery who has no history of abuse of marijuana, use marijuana without
