The #1 Relationship Secret


by Steve M Anderson - Date: 2007-03-26 - Word Count: 449 Share This!

You started out in a positive relationship completely head over heels in love. Maybe your story sounded something like this: Your friends tried to tell you that your partner was a golf addict but you were completely unaware because your emotion of love was running so high. This wild emotional brew combined with your singular desire to see your lover as the perfect love, only allowed you to see what you wanted to see, and to receive the love you desired.

Then as the relationship went on and you couldn't fit the groceries in the trunk because of the golf clubs, you started to think, "Maybe my friends were right". Now you find yourself looking everywhere for evidence to prove to yourself that your partner goes golfing too much. How could you have been so blind to have not noticed before? Wherever you look, you see golf balls invading the bedroom, tees littering the laundry, and clubs lurking in the kitchen. Your partner is always out with the same three other guys hitting that stupid little ball around some freshly mown grass. Not surprisingly, you experience resentment and anger. You project those feelings to your spouse who in turn acts in a similar way toward you!

Whoa, let's get out of this sand trap. First of all, your spouse may like golf a lot, but it may also be possible that the reality of it isn't exactly as we imagined above. Second, observe how easy it is to receive exactly what you expect and desire to see. You have done it over and over in many different situations in your life - perhaps with a parent, boss, neighbor or child. Change begins when you make a choice to assume the best, and can also feel or envision what that will be like to experience.

What do you desire for your relationship? What do you expect from your relationship? Can you feel these desires and expectations? Just like in the golf-addict example above, you can exchange one feeling and desire for another, all based on what you expect to see. Do you expect to see an unresponsive spouse or an attentive one? Do you expect to see a tender, caring spouse or a rough and calloused one? What you see is what you get.

You can choose to see and experience exactly what you want. Are you ready to exchange your feelings of blame, resentment or anger at your spouse with those of openness, forgiveness and love? You will find that when you give the gift of your love in a way that your spouse can receive it, it will come back to you in many wonderful ways. Choose love and look for it everywhere!


Related Tags: relationships, coaching, tips, love, advice, vision, intention, responsibility, blame, fixing

Steve and Susan Anderson offer coaching, teleclasses and other resources designed to help you create the relationships of your dreams. Find out how you can transform your relationship by visiting us at buildingpositiverelationships.com

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