Self Improvement: One Small Adjustment to Increase Your Happiness


by Margrit Harris - Date: 2007-02-07 - Word Count: 370 Share This!

"I used to be able to make people happy!" He said with fresh tears. This depressed young man across from me described himself as a selfless person who loves to serve. Who loves to give of himself to evoke smiles; from his girlfriend, coworkers, and just about anyone he meets.

Now he is in a strange place, a different environment with few smiles. He feels lost even though oddly enough his assignment is to teach and help amongst a people known for their ready smiles!

What is wrong?

Why in the midst of helping and giving is this young man feeling empty when it is through serving he has found great satisfaction in the past?

While at first blush this situation may seem odd it is quite common. Think about the last time you gave your spouse [partner] a small gift, performed an unexpected act of kindness, or went out of your way to be extra patient. Were you rewarded with a reciprocal act? If not how did you feel? How did you respond?

It is human nature to expect something specific in return when we help or give to another. When our expectation goes wanting we are hurt, disappointed, angry, sad and possibly umpteen other emotions.

Basically we give to get! Yes, even selfless Christians give to get blessings from God or to be accepted and loved by Him. [I know I'm one of them.]

Years ago while sitting in another counseling session with two frustrated parents and their wayward teenager I had an epiphany. As I struggled to get the irate father to appreciate just one thing about his rebellious, but hurting son, it hit me.

True love is giving with no strings attached! Real pure caring is unconditional, it expects nothing in return, it hopes only the best for the other.

I left that session a better woman, a more tolerant mother of my own set of teenagers, and a more appreciative wife. Over the years I have applied the "no strings attached" principle of giving as best I can. I have found that when I do fully let go of the response of the other to any act of kindness or service I perform on their behalf my heart is content and life is good.


Related Tags: content, love, self improvement, service, happiness, caring, kindness, satisfaction, spouse, life is good

Margrit Harris, MSSW, international relationship expert, speaker and author is co-creator of "Get the Right Guy for the Real You" an online interactive course to position the single woman to attract and keep her soul mate for life. http://www.gettherightguyfortherealyou.com

Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles

© The article above is copyrighted by it's author. You're allowed to distribute this work according to the Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs license.
 

Recent articles in this category:



Most viewed articles in this category: