Ground Rules for Date Night with Your Spouse
He was trying to figure out what I meant by, "Would you like to go on a date next weekend?" Your guess is as good as mine as to what he thought I meant. Clearly, we don't do this often enough.
For my husband and I eating dinner alone in a nice restaurant doesn't happen a lot. Experts say Date Night should happen once a week. Those experts' kids must be in college. Or maybe they never had kids. Whatever. I figure if my husband and I can reconnect in a romantic atmosphere once a month or so, we're doing pretty well. We're not heavy romance kinda folks, anyway. Grabbing an ice cream treat at the Dari Hut and bringing it home to surprise my husband in the evening is fun with just a nice enough touch of romance. For me personally it's about the time we spend together-- not what we're doing-- that matters.
For our upcoming date night I have everything planned. I have my outfit all picked out. I lined up Grandmom & Poppy to baby sit our two little girls, ages two and four. I made reservations at a restaurant that has tablecloths and a piano bar. We're both looking forward to it, but I have to say, I am feeling a little nervous. Because we don't spend a lot of time alone together these days, I thought it might be a good idea to establish some "ground rules" for our date. These rules could help you, too, if you spend more time in Family / Mom & Dad Mode than you do in Romance / Husband & Wife Mode. Here are the rules I came up with:
1. Set a pre-established time to talk about "business": the kids, the house, finances, work, etc. When the time elapses, stop.
OK, so what topics does that leave? Do you remember what it was like to date your spouse? Before you had kids? Before you lived in the same house and shared every intimate detail of each other's laundry and other personal habits? No? Join the club. For conversation starters, you might have to do some homework. Read a book so that you can share the plot over salad. Find an interesting story to share. Ask your spouse about his favorite restaurant as a kid. Or what was her best Christmas/Hanukkah/birthday gift ever? Or what was his favorite part of your honeymoon-- you could even bring a few photos with you to jog your memory. Just because you're married doesn't mean you know everything. There's a still ton to discover.
2. When one of you veers off-course (which you likely will), the other should gently guide the conversation back to more partner discovery. If he says, "That little league game was great! I was so proud of the way Johnny caught that fly ball." She can say, "I'm proud of him, too. I'm also proud of what a great Dad you are. The first time I was proud to be with you was when...." See? A gentle transition away from the kids and back to memories of you.
3. Flirt with each other. Use your non-verbal messages in that "come-hither-after-dinner" way. Why not? You ARE married, after all!
4. Order dessert. Forget about your diet. Indulge a little. It's not like you do this all the time. Don't order the fruit cup with a tiny little plop of Grand Marnier cream, unless you live in Alaska, it's the dead of winter and you miss fresh fruit-- or that's what you REALLY want.
5. Laugh.
6. Hold hands. Share a few bites of each other's dinner. Look at each other. See #3 above.
I hope you have a chance to use these rules with your spouse soon. If you don't already have your next date night planned, here's your opportunity to plan one. Do it right now while you're thinking of it-even if you have to plan it for a couple of weeks down the road. Then you'll have something fun to look forward to and a few rules to help you enjoy the evening when it does arrive.
© 2007, Felicia Slattery.
Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com
Related Tags: night, for, your, rules, date, spouse, with, ground
Felicia Slattery is a life and relationship coach with more than a decade of experience teaching others how to improve their communication skills and lead happier more successful lives. She offers a free e-course called "5 Strategies for Creating Happily Ever After in Your Marriage" at her websitewww.TransformativeJourneys.com.
Enjoy your marriage: it's the Journey of a lifetime!
Your Article Search Directory : Find in ArticlesRecent articles in this category:
- The Resurgence of Fred Perry Clothing
Summer might long be over and Wimbledon may be a distant memory, however the fashion is a year round - Uncovering Men's Tank Tops
I don't know a thing about you, but I'll bet that you have worn a tank top. Tank tops have also been - Make Use of Silk Scarves to Take Good Care of Your Skin
In the event you are new about silk scarves, you could never read about this particular feature of s - Just For Men Scarves - the Preference For Guys in the Vogue Domain
If you are not certain what style of present you could provide for men, maybe you can consider men s - Think Black Friday Shopping is Beyond Your Budget?
Moms who are juggling the bills and still trying to provide the perfect holiday gift to loved ones a - How to Make Conscious Shopping Choices
Many people have heard the phrase "voting with your dollars" and they understand that it means your - Silk Scarves - Unique Present Approach in Xmas Seasons
The most prevalent silk add-on is scarves, and many focus is presented on inspired designing on thes - Benefits of an Aloe Vera Shampoo
A lot of people are not aware of the specific benefits that using an aloe vera shampoo can do to the - How Effective is the Power of Your Subconscious Mind?
Most people are bombarded with this thought whenever they feel weak and wish to affect certain chang - Silk Scarf - the Record For Human Being in the Style History
Throughout the 19th and 20th centuries the worldwide recognition of silk scarves developed dramatica
Most viewed articles in this category:
- Surf and Turf: the Race Track
Surf and Turf: The Race TrackOne of the favorite places for The G to hang out at, especially in Summ - Are You Looking For Cholesterol Drugs Without Side Effect?
High cholesterol level is probably one of the widely spread complication among Americans. Almost for - Friday the 13th could be a lucky day?
Friday the 13th sounds unlucky ? Traditional superstition ? And a lot of people dislike it and beli - Don't Judge A Man
Our world is full of bad tongues, fault-finders, gossipers, mockers, and insulters but do these grou - When Personalized Gifts Make a Difference
Finding the right gifts for a particular occasion is always a challenging task. Sometimes it is nic - Managing My Resistance: Learning To Flow With What Life Offers
One of the things that interests me most about conflict is the tendency to resist it and the ways in - What Are Horoscopes Based On?
If you do not know much about astrology, you may wonder what are horoscopes based on and how astrolo - 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make
We often find ourselves amid the wreckage of a love gone wrong, wringing our hands and asking, "Why - Motivation as the heart of self improvement
You should be able to find several indispensable facts about Motivation in the following paragraphs - Is Complete Abstinence from Use of Paychoactive Substances Necessary for Recovery?
Can a sober alcoholic in recovery who has no history of abuse of marijuana, use marijuana without