Woman's Heartache - Self-Inflicted


by J Mitchell Parker, Jr - Date: 2007-03-05 - Word Count: 867 Share This!

In today's society men are portrayed as worthless, mindless idiots, who when not bumbling about, are seeking after the only thing which holds any significance in their life, sex. Images representative of men by mainstream media promote them as immature, slow-witted and lacking in etiquette and all social graces. To the contrary, women are represented as sound minded, highly educated and possessing grace and class. Almost daily we hear from "experts" about how the great majority of men do not support their children, are violent towards women and lack any control over their obsessive desire to be promiscuous. These comments are received as if they are the gospel truth, when often they are skewed or misrepresented with the intent on swaying public opinion towards the cause, book or website of the "expert". Much of what is believed to be true about "all men" was at one time merely the opinion of one bitter woman looking to have her actions in a failed relation validated.

The venom she spews is further tainted by the truth that she hides within herself about the real cause of her break-up. The knowingly destructive part she played in sabotaging a perfectly normal relationship. Her bitterness coupled with feelings of guilt and a need for revenge contribute to her inability to move on. However, if the truth were to be told we might hear how her relationship ended not because of how no good and abusive he was, but because of how critical, over-demanding and unfaithful she was. We might hear how her overwhelming need to change every iota of his being and totally control every aspect of the relationship caused tensions and emotional disconnection. We might be privy to the knowledge that her need to keep up with the Jones' and the images of perfection she created in her head, were the true detriment to her loves collapse. How did the man who possessed everything she every wanted in a mate (style, confidence, culinary skills, etc), who she proudly boasted to all her friends about, suddenly become a bumbling idiot unable to feed or dress himself without her assistance? Is it because she is perfect and he has finally shown his true colors and ineptness or is it because she is more critical of him then he is of her?

We might be shocked (well the men might, the secret society of women encourage it) to hear about all her innocent flirtations with her "friend" which led to numerous episodes of infidelity that now have her daydreaming about a man other than her man. Of course her lack of faithfulness is validated by the well known fact that "all men cheat". "If he can do it, so can I" is the usual response given to help cover up feelings of guilt that surface when she realizes she cheated on her man, and has no evidence of him every so much as thinking about cheating on her. I have witnessed the character of exceptionally good men brutally assassinated by mean-spirited vindictive women who's only motive was a perceived need for vengeance. These woman knew their story would be believed and could seal the deal with a few extras, like the customary tears and their well rehearsed I'm the victim speech. Today's woman cries foul when men stand up to her deceitful and manipulative ways.

Complaints about man are often fueled by his refusal to be controlled, manipulated or slandered. Modern women would rather trick a man into doing something as opposed to simply asking him. Women's instinctive ability to project their feeling and ways of thinking and doing things on others contribute to her negative image of men. Because they are sneaky, deceitful, manipulative and constantly looking for ways to hide the truth, they believe that he is doing the same. She lashes out at him because of her feelings of low self-esteem and inadequacy as if he spoke the very words she hears in her head. She then tells her friends and family that indeed he not only thought these things but said them, when without a doubt it was merely that little voice in her head. I love the classic line "I don't need no man" as if every man thinks that a woman should need him. The irony of this statement is that these same women proclaim with the utmost conviction that men do not like a woman who is too needy (wait a minute if we want you to need us why are we turned off be woman who are too needy).

After delivering their "I Don't Need No Man" speech, they sit around with their girlfriends feeling like they are less than a woman because they aren't married. If women want quality relationships they must first stop being so critical of themselves and realize the minor flaws that they obsess about, their man either hasn't taken notice to or has decided to overlook and accept. If they want a relationship filled with mutual respect they most first learn to respect themselves and then maybe they can return to their man the respect he is already giving them. If they want a relationship filled with honesty they most first learn how to be.


Related Tags: relationship, break-up

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