Missing Rear End of CatDog Located


by Eyal Wirsansky - Date: 2007-01-04 - Word Count: 344 Share This!

Among the new species recently discovered on the Three-and-a-Half Mile Island, the Multi-Paw CatDog (Felinus Barkus Centipedes) is considered the most fascinating: not only does it posses a dozen legs, it also has two different heads - one of a cat and the other - of a dog, located on what appear to be the opposite ends of its body.

Since its discovery, a mystery has been surrounding this creature's digestive system, or - more precisely - the outlet of the system; simply put - the animal does not seem to have a rear end, since both of its ends conclude with heads.

According to the scientific team from the University of Charadnoville, who originally discovered the CatDog, the explanation to the mystery is simple: the creature actually has three distinct ends; while two of the ends are occupied by heads, the third one is a rear end, which serves the two other (front) ends.

This new revelation brings up further questions, such as how can the single rear-end support two heads. The scientists believe that the two heads cannot feed at the same time, and take turns eating meals; observations confirm that the Dog Head is active during breakfast and lunch, while the Cat Head, demonstrating nocturnal behavior, is dominant during dinner.

Also, to answer the question whether the animal is coming or going, the following definitions were established:

If either the Cat Head or the Dog Head seems to approach you, the CatDog is coming. If either the Cat Head or the Dog Head seems to be getting away from you, the CatDog is going. If one of the heads seems to approach you while the other one seems to be getting away, the CatDog is stretching. No scientific term was established yet for the cases in which the Rear End is the one that seems to approach or to be getting away.

A related new species, known as the Cat-Terpillar (Felinus Millipedes) is expected to be a big hit in the pet stores by next Christmas, despite the obvious difficulties awaiting the owners who plan to have all its dozen paws de-clawed.


Related Tags: dog, cat, pets, science, humor, funny, evolution, digestion, satire, head, species, paw, legs, rear-end, diagram

Eyal Wirsansky is the creator of the Illustrated Satire News site theLEEK.net, where humor, satire and photoshopping fuse into hilarious fake news. The fully illustrated 'Google Cows' story can be found in the following link.

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