Complain - Who Me? I Am Not Complaining


by Susan Feder - Date: 2007-04-11 - Word Count: 510 Share This!

Can you go 30 days without complaining? How often do we complain and don't even realize that we are? How uncomfortable does it make you feel when some one else complains? I have been "Complaining" for years about how rotten our customer service is, when one day I realized that by complaining about it, I was making myself feel worse, then the actual experience of the poor service. I started to listen to what I was saying (difficult for me, as I talk A LOT!) and I realized that I complained a lot about things I had no control over, such as poor service, bad traffic, awful weather, rude people, high gas prices, etc.

I started thinking how does it help me to complain? Does it make a difference? Did I change anything? What was the end result? I realized that the end result was that I felt angry, annoyed and irritated most of the time, but nothing outside of me changed.

Years ago I had the opportunity to work with an amazing Dutch man. He was probably 65 or 70 at the time, though to my young years (25) he was ancient and therefore must be very wise. In retrospect, he is still one of the wisest, kindest, intelligent men I have ever had the privilege to know. He taught me a lot about the business world, myself and most importantly about other people. I have carried his lessons with me most of my life, and when I forget them is when I start to get annoyed, angry and frustrated.

What he taught me boiled down to one very small, yet important bit of information. I came into the office one day angry, frustrated and out of control. Sparks were just flying off me! He asked me what was wrong. I said "Some stupid idiot, just cut me off, put me in danger and then just drove off! I hate people like that, they make me so mad!" I was probably frothing at the mouth and obviously carried on for a while. When he could get a word in edgewise, he gently asked me "Susan, why do you let this man get to you? Do you think he even remembers doing what you said he did? Even if he did, do you think he is allowing it to affect his day?" As I angrily shook my head, slowly what he said began to sink into my head. He then gave me a smile and said the words that I will always remember, "Then why are you letting it affect your entire day?"

As I opened my mouth to respond, he smiled again at me, and I closed my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, why I have let a total stranger change my whole day? Why am I letting him have such power over me? With that thought, I slowly calmed down and when I remember his lesson, (I don't always); I am like a duck and let things slide off my back. Give it a try, you might have a better day!


Related Tags: happiness, challenge, complaining, dare

Susan Feder is a certified Life Coach, who specializes in business and success coaching. She is the owner of AMN (Achieve More Now) Enterprises. She currently is offering individual and group coaching, Mastermind Groups and personalized workshops and retreats.

For assistance in the start up or expansion of a small business go to amnenterprises

She is also to creator of "This Months Challenge", check out the blog at http://this-months-challenge.blogspot.com/

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